i am over-zealous and scared ALL the time
i want to go on adventures with strangers
i want my heart broken and fixed so many times i lose count
i want to paint my fingernails white and slide down banisters and drink boys under the table
i want my eyes and my heart to make me feel beautiful. my arm is to be the icing...
i want tape hiss and electronic drone to be required elements for living
i want to wake up smelling that smell
i want to never be afraid to say 'i love you' (even to friends)
i want to never be afraid and to always be afraid.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
the tattoo saga pt. 11
so i got tattooed again today!
whoo hoo!
i don't have much to say about it. it hurt and i bled more today than last time.
i feel so happy. it's so gorgeous.
i'll let the photos speak for themselves...
so that's the tattoo as of november 21, 2005
again: art by johnny at urge2. photos mine!
xo michelle.
whoo hoo!
i don't have much to say about it. it hurt and i bled more today than last time.
i feel so happy. it's so gorgeous.
i'll let the photos speak for themselves...
so that's the tattoo as of november 21, 2005
again: art by johnny at urge2. photos mine!
xo michelle.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
and one more thing...
you're insane if you don't read this blog:
american short-timer
my friend charles told about it. he's writing a play about the war. i'm not sure how i feel about that but whatever... this blog is pretty intense.
it'll be permanently linked over there on the right too so check it-no matter what your perspective on war is i think it's worth a look.
xo michelle.
american short-timer
my friend charles told about it. he's writing a play about the war. i'm not sure how i feel about that but whatever... this blog is pretty intense.
it'll be permanently linked over there on the right too so check it-no matter what your perspective on war is i think it's worth a look.
xo michelle.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
at this EXACT moment i HATE that i am at work
transcipt of an unfair msn conversation with someone i've been 'intimate' with (and wouldn't mind being intimate with again):
me: i am soooooo bored.
him: me too. you at home?
me: nope. at work. i wish i was at home.
him: me too *wink*
me: now i REALLY wish i was at home.
him: me too. i have a lot of aggression to get rid of.
me: *sigh*
i hate my life sometimes. instead of getting laid i am blogging about how, at this exact second, i could be.
fuck!
xo m.
me: i am soooooo bored.
him: me too. you at home?
me: nope. at work. i wish i was at home.
him: me too *wink*
me: now i REALLY wish i was at home.
him: me too. i have a lot of aggression to get rid of.
me: *sigh*
i hate my life sometimes. instead of getting laid i am blogging about how, at this exact second, i could be.
fuck!
xo m.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
"fucked without a kiss again..."
a call out of nowhere invites me to the screening of the new green day dvd. i jump at the chance! sure, it would be good to see tanya again-it had been a long time but mostly...I FUCKING LOVE GREEN DAY!
even before nirvana.
since i was 11 or 12 years old i have been a green day fan. that's HALF MY LIFE! for half my life i have loved this band. unabashedly and without embarassment. i'll cop to listening to matthew dear and green day without a hint of embarassment or any fucking irony!
god, it makes me so joyful! the fact that i see kids half my age discovering a band that just might do for them what they did for me. sure, they're a gigantic band now compared to who they were when i found them but it's still the same. it's still just three guys speaking up for the kids to scared to speak for themselves. it's still strength behind the headphones when you're walking down the hall avoiding everyone.
that's where it take me back to: those days when i'd go to school so afraid to be myself. so hidden behind looking and talking like everyone else. shit, i learnt to accept and embrace the parts of me that weren't like everyone else BECAUSE of punk rock. i know it's cheesy and i never wore bondage pants or had a mohawk but i still got it. i still get it.
green day led me to operation ivy, led me to rancid...a whole new world. (this isn't even scratching the surface of what nirvana did but that's a whole other story!)
so now i am 24. i saw green day live for the first time this year (i was grounded the last time they were here in '98) and it all came rushing back...i was 11, 12, 13, 14, 15...singing along to all EVERY SINGLE SONG remembering how good it felt to have that to come home to when someone at school called me fat or a freak or whatever...when my friends had boyfriends and i didn't...whatever, it felt soooooooooooo great!
tonight was no exception. the show used in the dvd was part of the same tour i'd seen and so i closed my eyes and i was back at that show, back feeling like i was 11, 12, 13, 14, 15...
i still feel fantastic right now!
last saturday i was walking down whyte ave and some fucking hick in town for the rodeo walks past me, looks me up and down, turns to his buddy and says, 'god, there ARE a lot of freaks on whyte ave.' without the world green day opened up for me i'd never have been able to be proud of the fact that some fucking hick called me a freak!
even before nirvana.
since i was 11 or 12 years old i have been a green day fan. that's HALF MY LIFE! for half my life i have loved this band. unabashedly and without embarassment. i'll cop to listening to matthew dear and green day without a hint of embarassment or any fucking irony!
god, it makes me so joyful! the fact that i see kids half my age discovering a band that just might do for them what they did for me. sure, they're a gigantic band now compared to who they were when i found them but it's still the same. it's still just three guys speaking up for the kids to scared to speak for themselves. it's still strength behind the headphones when you're walking down the hall avoiding everyone.
that's where it take me back to: those days when i'd go to school so afraid to be myself. so hidden behind looking and talking like everyone else. shit, i learnt to accept and embrace the parts of me that weren't like everyone else BECAUSE of punk rock. i know it's cheesy and i never wore bondage pants or had a mohawk but i still got it. i still get it.
green day led me to operation ivy, led me to rancid...a whole new world. (this isn't even scratching the surface of what nirvana did but that's a whole other story!)
so now i am 24. i saw green day live for the first time this year (i was grounded the last time they were here in '98) and it all came rushing back...i was 11, 12, 13, 14, 15...singing along to all EVERY SINGLE SONG remembering how good it felt to have that to come home to when someone at school called me fat or a freak or whatever...when my friends had boyfriends and i didn't...whatever, it felt soooooooooooo great!
tonight was no exception. the show used in the dvd was part of the same tour i'd seen and so i closed my eyes and i was back at that show, back feeling like i was 11, 12, 13, 14, 15...
i still feel fantastic right now!
last saturday i was walking down whyte ave and some fucking hick in town for the rodeo walks past me, looks me up and down, turns to his buddy and says, 'god, there ARE a lot of freaks on whyte ave.' without the world green day opened up for me i'd never have been able to be proud of the fact that some fucking hick called me a freak!
the utility of beauty
i want the new gabriel garcia marquez novel
i want those three or four amazing vegan/vegetarian cookbooks i saw at the bookstore
i want to go to nin tonight.
i want an ibook
i want an electric piano with all 88 keys (my keyboard only has 66)
i want a guitar
i want millions of cds.
i want a whole new stereo system including a record player
i spend a lot of time wanting a lot of things but i don't (and won't) get a lot of these things because i'd rather get tattooed.
this surprised her, a friend of mine. she tells me her big purchases always have some kind of utalitarian purpose. i tell her it's naive to assume that my tattoo doesn't.
i tell her it makes me feel beautiful. she asks me if i think about that a lot.
do i think about feeling beautiful a lot? i don't, i suppose but i do when forced to, obviously.
i try to tell her it's different for her. perfect cheekbones, a tiny waist and a great ass-people think you're beautiful all the time. you tell me all the time about how beautiful people think you are. shit, i've heard you complain about how beautiful people think you are, or how annoyed you get when someone doesn't comment on how gorgeous you are or doesn't flirt with you. i am SURE the fact that he doesn't flirt with you is part of the reason why you don't like him.
i tried to explain to her that in my life i have felt beautiful twice. literally twice. twice before i got tattooed, that is. now i feel beautiful whenever i look at it. i feel beautiful when other people show it off. it's a part of me. it's like having perfect cheekbones.
so i'll probably get that marquez novel and a couple of cds. i am not going to nin tonight but i'll go to some cheaper shows and get fucking tattooed!
and that tattooing session will serve a necessary and utalitarian function-it'll do what i can't do on my own and that is fucking utility!
i want those three or four amazing vegan/vegetarian cookbooks i saw at the bookstore
i want to go to nin tonight.
i want an ibook
i want an electric piano with all 88 keys (my keyboard only has 66)
i want a guitar
i want millions of cds.
i want a whole new stereo system including a record player
i spend a lot of time wanting a lot of things but i don't (and won't) get a lot of these things because i'd rather get tattooed.
this surprised her, a friend of mine. she tells me her big purchases always have some kind of utalitarian purpose. i tell her it's naive to assume that my tattoo doesn't.
i tell her it makes me feel beautiful. she asks me if i think about that a lot.
do i think about feeling beautiful a lot? i don't, i suppose but i do when forced to, obviously.
i try to tell her it's different for her. perfect cheekbones, a tiny waist and a great ass-people think you're beautiful all the time. you tell me all the time about how beautiful people think you are. shit, i've heard you complain about how beautiful people think you are, or how annoyed you get when someone doesn't comment on how gorgeous you are or doesn't flirt with you. i am SURE the fact that he doesn't flirt with you is part of the reason why you don't like him.
i tried to explain to her that in my life i have felt beautiful twice. literally twice. twice before i got tattooed, that is. now i feel beautiful whenever i look at it. i feel beautiful when other people show it off. it's a part of me. it's like having perfect cheekbones.
so i'll probably get that marquez novel and a couple of cds. i am not going to nin tonight but i'll go to some cheaper shows and get fucking tattooed!
and that tattooing session will serve a necessary and utalitarian function-it'll do what i can't do on my own and that is fucking utility!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
you could write smut, michelle
or so i'm told. too bad it's too arty for hustler.
anyways. you know what i just fucking LOVE. i love those evening where you plan to meet up with someone, have some tea, catch up but mostly talk business and then something goes awry and you ending drinking way to much and spending three hours in a classy joint talking about sex! that was my night last night.
nigel and i had planned to meet over tea at the sugarbowl and chat about our fringe show and how we were going to pay for it. nigel was coming directly from rehearsal so he brought mike with him. mike's a cool guy so we decided instead of tea to have a beer. one beer turned into 5 and we ended up (after being joined by a couple of other people) sitting there talking about sex for hours. positions, technique, fetishes, experience...the whole shebang! everyone was drunk and it was awesome. i even got a hickey out of the deal! whoo hoo!
i just love when things don't come together as planned and the new course is 100 times more fun.
oh, and we got our work done too! whoo hoo!
when i got home i said embarassing things on msn and left embarassing comments of people's blogs but that's whole other story...
xo michelle.
anyways. you know what i just fucking LOVE. i love those evening where you plan to meet up with someone, have some tea, catch up but mostly talk business and then something goes awry and you ending drinking way to much and spending three hours in a classy joint talking about sex! that was my night last night.
nigel and i had planned to meet over tea at the sugarbowl and chat about our fringe show and how we were going to pay for it. nigel was coming directly from rehearsal so he brought mike with him. mike's a cool guy so we decided instead of tea to have a beer. one beer turned into 5 and we ended up (after being joined by a couple of other people) sitting there talking about sex for hours. positions, technique, fetishes, experience...the whole shebang! everyone was drunk and it was awesome. i even got a hickey out of the deal! whoo hoo!
i just love when things don't come together as planned and the new course is 100 times more fun.
oh, and we got our work done too! whoo hoo!
when i got home i said embarassing things on msn and left embarassing comments of people's blogs but that's whole other story...
xo michelle.
Monday, November 07, 2005
'punk' music videos suck!
ha ha! this post has nothing to do with that but seriously, why is it that in every video from some band that some record company has decided is 'punk' (ie: simple plan) are there all these punk kids used as the symbol for disaffected youth? like somehow eyeliner and suicide spikes are symbols of unhappiness. there must be more interesting ways to discuss teen angst than some cute little girl in combat boots sitting on an old couch in an alley looking sad and wearing a lot of eyeliner...god, isn't there?
anyways, the point of this post:
i am sick to death of the negative energy that people seem to relish in! ok, so i know i am not always the most positive person in the room but i attempt to not start every conversation with some generalized negative statement! it's too much for me to deal with at this point. i have been in a funk and i have been letting it get the better of me but i'm getting over it and i have NO patience for people who insist on bringing me down...
...and bringing other people down too!
oh, and please do not decide that you hate my friends based on the three times (and odd contexts) which you met them. if you gave people a chance to be awesome they'd probably prove themselves to be so...don't you think? i think!
let the chips fall where they may and if your saturday night doesn't evolve quite as you hoped it would take it in stride and maybe you'll have more fun than you expected, i know i did!
this is vague, i know. i don't feel like clarifying. there isn't a need for it.
the point is is that i had a great time on saturday night with two lovely people who are quickly becoming two of my favourite people and i refuse to let the negative attitudes of others ruin a good evening for me! you do your thing, and i'll do mine and it'll be good that way...right?
p.s. remember world, attractiveness is subjective and just because i think someone is cute doesn't mean you have to. nor does it mean that you have to tell me every six seconds how not cute that person is and then suggest that i'd rather hang out with them than you...cuz you know what, eventually i am going to want to hang out with them rather than you! cute or not!
anyways, the point of this post:
i am sick to death of the negative energy that people seem to relish in! ok, so i know i am not always the most positive person in the room but i attempt to not start every conversation with some generalized negative statement! it's too much for me to deal with at this point. i have been in a funk and i have been letting it get the better of me but i'm getting over it and i have NO patience for people who insist on bringing me down...
...and bringing other people down too!
oh, and please do not decide that you hate my friends based on the three times (and odd contexts) which you met them. if you gave people a chance to be awesome they'd probably prove themselves to be so...don't you think? i think!
let the chips fall where they may and if your saturday night doesn't evolve quite as you hoped it would take it in stride and maybe you'll have more fun than you expected, i know i did!
this is vague, i know. i don't feel like clarifying. there isn't a need for it.
the point is is that i had a great time on saturday night with two lovely people who are quickly becoming two of my favourite people and i refuse to let the negative attitudes of others ruin a good evening for me! you do your thing, and i'll do mine and it'll be good that way...right?
p.s. remember world, attractiveness is subjective and just because i think someone is cute doesn't mean you have to. nor does it mean that you have to tell me every six seconds how not cute that person is and then suggest that i'd rather hang out with them than you...cuz you know what, eventually i am going to want to hang out with them rather than you! cute or not!
the trouble with pseudonyms
...ever seen the movie 'closer'?
there is something to be said for the name 'alice'. i think we're all a bit fucked. or alice's are a bit fucked. perhaps it's the desire to live up to wonderland. i'm not sure.
anyways, i was thinking about that. since i decided there would be people who knew me as alice and places where i was only and always alice; most of the alice's in pop culture are pretty fucked. even my alice, from tom waits' 'alice' isn't all that...together...
the point is. we need that don't we. a side of ourselves that can be whatever it wants to be because on some level it doesn't exist. if you meet me and i tell you i am called alice then you'll meet alice. you'll meet all the parts of michelle that alice isn't afraid of. alice is the girl who likes one night stands with strangers and making a mess of her surroundings and telling people what she really thinks...
but what if i meet someone and i decide they need to meet alice and then i like them and i want them to meet michelle and they meet her and decide they don't like her?
i'm not being self-concious or crazy here. there is a part of me that alice controls. there is a world out there that none of you are part of, and alice occupies that world. we don't go there very much but when we do we're freer. we're less afraid that maybe people won't like us. we have less stomach aches prior to social interaction. why can't michelle just do that?
i want people to want michelle the way they want alice.
there is something to be said for the name 'alice'. i think we're all a bit fucked. or alice's are a bit fucked. perhaps it's the desire to live up to wonderland. i'm not sure.
anyways, i was thinking about that. since i decided there would be people who knew me as alice and places where i was only and always alice; most of the alice's in pop culture are pretty fucked. even my alice, from tom waits' 'alice' isn't all that...together...
the point is. we need that don't we. a side of ourselves that can be whatever it wants to be because on some level it doesn't exist. if you meet me and i tell you i am called alice then you'll meet alice. you'll meet all the parts of michelle that alice isn't afraid of. alice is the girl who likes one night stands with strangers and making a mess of her surroundings and telling people what she really thinks...
but what if i meet someone and i decide they need to meet alice and then i like them and i want them to meet michelle and they meet her and decide they don't like her?
i'm not being self-concious or crazy here. there is a part of me that alice controls. there is a world out there that none of you are part of, and alice occupies that world. we don't go there very much but when we do we're freer. we're less afraid that maybe people won't like us. we have less stomach aches prior to social interaction. why can't michelle just do that?
i want people to want michelle the way they want alice.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
wow!
wow readers,
you've got a LOT of personal information over the past few days...
sorry about that.
i used to think i hated the movie 'almost famous'.
the other day i told this to a friend and he called me a curmudgeon...so, i frowned but vowed to watch it again to find that very scene to prove why it's a stupid movie. why cameron crowe is not the genius everyone thinks he and why i am NOT a curmudgeon!
so i watched 'almost famous' last night. i sat there for over two hours trying to find something bad about it. when russell shows up at william's house, thinking he is going to see penny lane, i realised i was crying. it's a fucking great movie and apparently when i watched it a few years ago i was a crack head, or a curmudgeon...
xo m.
p.s. there is a new band link on the side. check it, sluts!
you've got a LOT of personal information over the past few days...
sorry about that.
i used to think i hated the movie 'almost famous'.
the other day i told this to a friend and he called me a curmudgeon...so, i frowned but vowed to watch it again to find that very scene to prove why it's a stupid movie. why cameron crowe is not the genius everyone thinks he and why i am NOT a curmudgeon!
so i watched 'almost famous' last night. i sat there for over two hours trying to find something bad about it. when russell shows up at william's house, thinking he is going to see penny lane, i realised i was crying. it's a fucking great movie and apparently when i watched it a few years ago i was a crack head, or a curmudgeon...
xo m.
p.s. there is a new band link on the side. check it, sluts!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
just to clarify...
...that last post was SUPER long and sort of rambling so i want to summarize.
i NEED to summarize for myself. i have spent the last two or so days really trying to get things back on some sort of recognizable track and i need to have it concise. why you all need to have it concise sort of escapes me but that's where your free will comes in; ie: you don't have to read it.
so...
i was chatting my the lovely nigel this afternoon and he and i have fairly similar views on sex. sometimes it's just that: sex and nothing more. but then he said something to the effect of, 'shouldn't the people that we're with like us for the same reasons our friends like us? isn't that how we want to be liked? for our personalities?' and that perhaps in our attitudes towards to sex we undervalue it's potential as a tool to further a relationship rather than initiate it?
i guess in the end it boils down to whether or not i want someone's head between my thighs who knows me as alice or as michelle.
i NEED to summarize for myself. i have spent the last two or so days really trying to get things back on some sort of recognizable track and i need to have it concise. why you all need to have it concise sort of escapes me but that's where your free will comes in; ie: you don't have to read it.
so...
i was chatting my the lovely nigel this afternoon and he and i have fairly similar views on sex. sometimes it's just that: sex and nothing more. but then he said something to the effect of, 'shouldn't the people that we're with like us for the same reasons our friends like us? isn't that how we want to be liked? for our personalities?' and that perhaps in our attitudes towards to sex we undervalue it's potential as a tool to further a relationship rather than initiate it?
i guess in the end it boils down to whether or not i want someone's head between my thighs who knows me as alice or as michelle.
positive life choices
at 10:07 am jeff said:
"That's a bad idea. I bet if you fuck him, he'll come to your door and serenade you all "THIS IS HOW YOU REMIND ME" style.
Don't pretend you don't know what song that is."
i do know what that song is and jeff's right! i know jeff, you're always right, but this time i figured it out on my own first!
the past couple of weeks i've been in a funk. things were fine. there was nothing actually wrong with my life; i just sort of felt like...blah. everything was feeling sort of blah: theatre was blah, music and going to shows was blah, both 'scenes' were annoying the fuck out of me and even my friends who i LOVE were getting a little irritating.
therefore, funk! i was in a funk!
then last week i had drinks with someone whom i'd had previous 'intimate encounter' and we chatted and we're gonna do some work together and it's gonna be great. in the process of talking business we chatted about other stuff and i was reminded of how fucking attracted to this boy i am. anyways, that didn't help the funk.
so, being the internet savvy girl that i am i went out and found a boy. his name is unimportant but he likes nickleback and i was suppose to get together with him last night. i didn't. i told a lie and we probably won't speak again and that's fine. i don't need to be friends with him.
so why didn't i go over to a stranger's place for an evening of risky anonymous sex? certainly not because i have any sort of issue with anonymous sex. the boy i mentioned about, the previous intimate encounter, before we fucked he was pretty much anonymous...i don't have an issue with that but i don't think it's for me right now. i think i have come to some sort of peace with my desire to actually be with someone. or i have made peace with the fact that perhaps it might be nice to have sex with someone i already know and like...i dunno. something clicked in me sometime on sunday night and so i told the nickleback boy:
'so listen, good news and bad. remember how i told you i was going to that party last night. well, my ex was there and we ended up staying up all night chatting and decided to give it another shot.'
he doesn't know anything about me and i owe him nothing. this is easier than trying to explain why i went from basically having cybersex with the guy to telling him i wasn't interested. i know i could have done this too but he was a pretty aggressive guy and it's really flattering (for a not too confident gal like me) to have someone try really hard to convince you to have sex with them...
so ok. how did this happen. i'm not totally sure but i am pretty sure i know what pulled me outta my funk and i am sure that has something to do with it.
sunday night was this rollerdisco halloween party to put to black dot to death. i had told the promoter, a friend of mine, that i would help with whatever he needed and so my friend and i headed down there around 4 to help organize a kissing booth extravaganza. long story short i ended up having more fun at this show than i have had in a long time. because black dot was being put to rest the vibe was so positive! it was people who were there to thank the promoters for seven great years of shows or people for whom this was their first show or for people who just dig hallowe'en and six good bands! anyways, i had a TON of fun and the positive vibe totally rubbed off on me and all vestiges of the jaded snobby michelle just sort of disappeared. i wasn't too shy or awkward and met as many people as i could and just had a good fucking time. i have been in a good mood ever since.
i am not sure if this is connected to not wanting to fuck that guy or some other random stranger but i feel like they are. i feel good.
shit, i even saw christian last night and just had a great time catching up with him. i didn't make myself get all crazy and weird about him at all!
cool shit.
xo michelle.
"That's a bad idea. I bet if you fuck him, he'll come to your door and serenade you all "THIS IS HOW YOU REMIND ME" style.
Don't pretend you don't know what song that is."
i do know what that song is and jeff's right! i know jeff, you're always right, but this time i figured it out on my own first!
the past couple of weeks i've been in a funk. things were fine. there was nothing actually wrong with my life; i just sort of felt like...blah. everything was feeling sort of blah: theatre was blah, music and going to shows was blah, both 'scenes' were annoying the fuck out of me and even my friends who i LOVE were getting a little irritating.
therefore, funk! i was in a funk!
then last week i had drinks with someone whom i'd had previous 'intimate encounter' and we chatted and we're gonna do some work together and it's gonna be great. in the process of talking business we chatted about other stuff and i was reminded of how fucking attracted to this boy i am. anyways, that didn't help the funk.
so, being the internet savvy girl that i am i went out and found a boy. his name is unimportant but he likes nickleback and i was suppose to get together with him last night. i didn't. i told a lie and we probably won't speak again and that's fine. i don't need to be friends with him.
so why didn't i go over to a stranger's place for an evening of risky anonymous sex? certainly not because i have any sort of issue with anonymous sex. the boy i mentioned about, the previous intimate encounter, before we fucked he was pretty much anonymous...i don't have an issue with that but i don't think it's for me right now. i think i have come to some sort of peace with my desire to actually be with someone. or i have made peace with the fact that perhaps it might be nice to have sex with someone i already know and like...i dunno. something clicked in me sometime on sunday night and so i told the nickleback boy:
'so listen, good news and bad. remember how i told you i was going to that party last night. well, my ex was there and we ended up staying up all night chatting and decided to give it another shot.'
he doesn't know anything about me and i owe him nothing. this is easier than trying to explain why i went from basically having cybersex with the guy to telling him i wasn't interested. i know i could have done this too but he was a pretty aggressive guy and it's really flattering (for a not too confident gal like me) to have someone try really hard to convince you to have sex with them...
so ok. how did this happen. i'm not totally sure but i am pretty sure i know what pulled me outta my funk and i am sure that has something to do with it.
sunday night was this rollerdisco halloween party to put to black dot to death. i had told the promoter, a friend of mine, that i would help with whatever he needed and so my friend and i headed down there around 4 to help organize a kissing booth extravaganza. long story short i ended up having more fun at this show than i have had in a long time. because black dot was being put to rest the vibe was so positive! it was people who were there to thank the promoters for seven great years of shows or people for whom this was their first show or for people who just dig hallowe'en and six good bands! anyways, i had a TON of fun and the positive vibe totally rubbed off on me and all vestiges of the jaded snobby michelle just sort of disappeared. i wasn't too shy or awkward and met as many people as i could and just had a good fucking time. i have been in a good mood ever since.
i am not sure if this is connected to not wanting to fuck that guy or some other random stranger but i feel like they are. i feel good.
shit, i even saw christian last night and just had a great time catching up with him. i didn't make myself get all crazy and weird about him at all!
cool shit.
xo michelle.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
i learned something new this morning...
...the way to a boy's cock is not by making fun of his musical tastes.
i 'met' this boy. a man actually, he's 32. and we sort of talked about getting together to fuck.
so i was talking with him on msn and we got into a discussion about music. bad move right? buddy has never heard of tom waits. red flag right? TOTALLY!
next big red flag:
michelle: what kind of music DO you listen to then?
boy: hard rock and country
michelle: hard rock?
boy: nick, staind, default, seether, etc...
YIKES!
ok. i am a huge SNOB! this admission made me not want to fuck him. that's terrible. i am a terrible person. A TERRIBLE human being. oh god.
but on the other hand, maybe it's a clue. maybe it's telling me that he lacks creativity or that he's unwilling to step out of the box that some tells him he's suppose to be in.
or, i am just terrible!
god, i need to work on this. and i think my first step will be fucking the nickleback fan.
xxx m.
i 'met' this boy. a man actually, he's 32. and we sort of talked about getting together to fuck.
so i was talking with him on msn and we got into a discussion about music. bad move right? buddy has never heard of tom waits. red flag right? TOTALLY!
next big red flag:
michelle: what kind of music DO you listen to then?
boy: hard rock and country
michelle: hard rock?
boy: nick, staind, default, seether, etc...
YIKES!
ok. i am a huge SNOB! this admission made me not want to fuck him. that's terrible. i am a terrible person. A TERRIBLE human being. oh god.
but on the other hand, maybe it's a clue. maybe it's telling me that he lacks creativity or that he's unwilling to step out of the box that some tells him he's suppose to be in.
or, i am just terrible!
god, i need to work on this. and i think my first step will be fucking the nickleback fan.
xxx m.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
resting on smoke alarms
random title? i don't think so...
alright, i don't often review cds or shows on this little bloggy thing here but i am feeling compelled to at THIS EXACT moment!
but get this...i am going to discuss a LIVE show and a cd at the SAME time...you guys are SOOOO effin' lucky..
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go!
METRIC
'live it out' (last gang records, 2005)
AND
METRIC live at starlite room, october 25, 2005
in the october 13th issue of vue weekly tyson kaban claims that:
"I knew Metric’s 2003 release, Old World Underground, Where Are You Know? had worn out its welcome when my sister started singing along with “Combat Baby” on my car stereo one day. And when a girl whose musical tastes are exclusively Reba starts mouthing along with Emily Haines’s political diatribes, it was clear the group had ventured into dangerous territory: the mainstream.
Thankfully, their latest album, Live It Out, is just inaccessible enough to keep them on the periphery, where indie music snobs can still safely claim to like them without the fear of their teenage siblings adopting them as their band du jour."
and while i'll be the first to admit that i am an indie snob this is NOT a reason to like an album. 'well, my little sister won't like this so it must be AWESOME!'
i tried really hard to like this album, really hard. i LOVE 'old world underground, where are you now?'. i still listen to it like mad. so in my attempt to fall equally in love with 'live it out' i realised something. 'live it out' is a lazy collection of b-sides to 'old world...'. it isn't a b-side collection but it sure sounds like it. it's a haphazard collection of the tricks that made 'old world...' so great. the sheen is there, the hooks are there, the politics are there but none of them are THERE.
am i sounding vague? what i mean is that while there is nothing expressly wrong with this album it expands and offers nothing in the way of new territory for the band. to me it's a collection of, 'well this worked in the past...' sound and the second time around it doesn't work nearly as well.
same thing with the live show.
last night's show was the first of THREE sold-out shows at edmonton's starlite room.
opening for metric was the most serene republic. they were LOVELY. lush, energetic, FAN-TASTIC! we missed the first band (the lovely feathers) and i decided, in between bands, that it's not all-ages shows that annoy me (i totally love them in fact) it's the girls at all ages shows involving popular bands. only at shows like metric will girls stand in the bathroom and worry about their hair. at a great all-ages punk show the girls will be in the pit right alongside the boys!
back to metric.
i saw metric the first time in 2002 or 2003 when they, and the unicorns, opened for hot hot heat. it was an awesome show. we danced, we sang along, we rocked the fuck out. last night's show was much like how i feel about their album: not terrible but nothing in comparison to their previous stuff. lacklustre is a pretty good word. choreographed is good too. essentially they were resting on their laurels knowing they had an eager crowd at their feet.
i agree with the uber-sexy emily haines when she says 'fight off the lethargy'...take your own advice em.
there were moments last night when i watched the smoke detectors to see if they flashed in time with the bass drum. they did about 42% of the time.
xx m.
alright, i don't often review cds or shows on this little bloggy thing here but i am feeling compelled to at THIS EXACT moment!
but get this...i am going to discuss a LIVE show and a cd at the SAME time...you guys are SOOOO effin' lucky..
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go!
METRIC
'live it out' (last gang records, 2005)
AND
METRIC live at starlite room, october 25, 2005
in the october 13th issue of vue weekly tyson kaban claims that:
"I knew Metric’s 2003 release, Old World Underground, Where Are You Know? had worn out its welcome when my sister started singing along with “Combat Baby” on my car stereo one day. And when a girl whose musical tastes are exclusively Reba starts mouthing along with Emily Haines’s political diatribes, it was clear the group had ventured into dangerous territory: the mainstream.
Thankfully, their latest album, Live It Out, is just inaccessible enough to keep them on the periphery, where indie music snobs can still safely claim to like them without the fear of their teenage siblings adopting them as their band du jour."
and while i'll be the first to admit that i am an indie snob this is NOT a reason to like an album. 'well, my little sister won't like this so it must be AWESOME!'
i tried really hard to like this album, really hard. i LOVE 'old world underground, where are you now?'. i still listen to it like mad. so in my attempt to fall equally in love with 'live it out' i realised something. 'live it out' is a lazy collection of b-sides to 'old world...'. it isn't a b-side collection but it sure sounds like it. it's a haphazard collection of the tricks that made 'old world...' so great. the sheen is there, the hooks are there, the politics are there but none of them are THERE.
am i sounding vague? what i mean is that while there is nothing expressly wrong with this album it expands and offers nothing in the way of new territory for the band. to me it's a collection of, 'well this worked in the past...' sound and the second time around it doesn't work nearly as well.
same thing with the live show.
last night's show was the first of THREE sold-out shows at edmonton's starlite room.
opening for metric was the most serene republic. they were LOVELY. lush, energetic, FAN-TASTIC! we missed the first band (the lovely feathers) and i decided, in between bands, that it's not all-ages shows that annoy me (i totally love them in fact) it's the girls at all ages shows involving popular bands. only at shows like metric will girls stand in the bathroom and worry about their hair. at a great all-ages punk show the girls will be in the pit right alongside the boys!
back to metric.
i saw metric the first time in 2002 or 2003 when they, and the unicorns, opened for hot hot heat. it was an awesome show. we danced, we sang along, we rocked the fuck out. last night's show was much like how i feel about their album: not terrible but nothing in comparison to their previous stuff. lacklustre is a pretty good word. choreographed is good too. essentially they were resting on their laurels knowing they had an eager crowd at their feet.
i agree with the uber-sexy emily haines when she says 'fight off the lethargy'...take your own advice em.
there were moments last night when i watched the smoke detectors to see if they flashed in time with the bass drum. they did about 42% of the time.
xx m.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
girls are terrible people
so my little sister (rachel) has this friend called jessica*. she is a terrible fucking cunt of a girl.
upon first appearence she seems like a nice enough girl. it's an ACT!
on monday, wednesday and friday she picks my sister up for school and (without fail) wakes me up in the process talking at nightclub volume about how much money she has or how annoyed she is because she couldn't take the mercedes that morning...ASSHAT!
so yesterday morning she comes to fetch rachel and wakes me up in the process. in the car from my house to the university she proceeds to whine about how
'there's this boy! he's so cute and i really like him. he doesn't seem to like me. i am so depressed. i have never been in this situation. they always like me...i ALWAYS get to reject them!...'
at this point i'd be done. that would be all i could handle. i would tell her to stop whining and kick her in the teeth. but no, she doesn't stop there. she looks directly at my sister and says, with full conviction:
'rachel, how do you deal with boys not liking you? aren't you depressed all the time?'
if i hadn't kicked her in the teeth before that i certainly would have at that point. that little cuntface is NEVER coming back in my house. EVER!
girls are terrible!
xxx m.
* yep. jessica is her real name. i am calling the bitch out!
upon first appearence she seems like a nice enough girl. it's an ACT!
on monday, wednesday and friday she picks my sister up for school and (without fail) wakes me up in the process talking at nightclub volume about how much money she has or how annoyed she is because she couldn't take the mercedes that morning...ASSHAT!
so yesterday morning she comes to fetch rachel and wakes me up in the process. in the car from my house to the university she proceeds to whine about how
'there's this boy! he's so cute and i really like him. he doesn't seem to like me. i am so depressed. i have never been in this situation. they always like me...i ALWAYS get to reject them!...'
at this point i'd be done. that would be all i could handle. i would tell her to stop whining and kick her in the teeth. but no, she doesn't stop there. she looks directly at my sister and says, with full conviction:
'rachel, how do you deal with boys not liking you? aren't you depressed all the time?'
if i hadn't kicked her in the teeth before that i certainly would have at that point. that little cuntface is NEVER coming back in my house. EVER!
girls are terrible!
xxx m.
* yep. jessica is her real name. i am calling the bitch out!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
adult friends
friday night led me to two things:
1) i am NOT an adult (and that's awesome)
2) lavalife stinks!
1) so i go out to my friend kyla's house in the deep, deep south. we're talking end of calgary trail off ellerslie here...DEEP south! anyways, kyla is making chocolate truffles and so she invites me over...YUMMY! so i go over after dinner with my mom and not only is kyla there. also there are laura (who i'll get to later) and lindsay and jacquie. i have known all these girls, save for jacquie, since i moved to edmonton in 1988. that's a long-ass time! so we're chatting and we get on the subject of boyfriends and living and all those things girls talk about. both these girls: lindsay and jacquie own property (condos) cars and have serious, long term relationships. kyla owns a car and a boyfriend and is about to enter the market for some property.
talking to these girls and listening to them talk about furniture i start to wonder if perhaps somewhere i went wrong. if somewhere i made a wrong turn and forgot to do something. like maybe if after high school i'd made the decision to do my poli sci. degree and then go to law school i'd also own and condo and be the next-best-thing to married. maybe...
but then they start asking me about my life. about throwing money away on rent and getting tattooed and going to shows and random hook-ups (not as if there are a lot of them but there are a few...) and as they sat there with judgement in their eyes i realised, somewhere mid quarter life crisis that i am pretty fucking happy with the way things have turned out. the random hook-ups i've had haven't been that random and they've been great. i love where i live and i love my tattoos. i pretty much love what i have in my life...
sure, things aren't perfect. they never are. notice i didn't mention the boyfriend thing, nor am i going to...but i am generally pretty a-ok with the way things are going.
generally...
2) lavalife totally sucks (and this is where laura comes in). in discussion about boyfriends and the like we discovered that laura had been using lavalife to meet people. this is cool. whatever works. we live in the age of the internet...i don't judge. anyways, my adult friends go off on how if they were still 'single at 25' (gasp) that the internet might be a good place to look for love. SINGLE AT 25? what the fuck?
anyways, laura is really INSANE and literally the MOST judgemental person i have ever met (even more than me!) and apparently she's met like 4 or 5 pretty cool boys a la lavalife.
i got home around midnight and out of curiosity i decided to check out lavalife. now, in order to check it out you have to sign up. i was curious so i did...
LAVALIFE MAKES ME LOOK BORING!!
when you fill out your profile you have to fill out one of those interest surveys. a lot of people have a lot of interests on lavalife. i have three: reading, music, cultural events. that's dumb! i like more than three things and cultural events is very vague.
the thing is there are a million interest catagories but they are all related to sports or outdoor things. i am not much for sports. and not only are there tonnes of sports options there is survey where you get to choose whether you watch or participate...there are A LOT of cultural events that i both watch or participate...there aren't boxes for those choices.
so, lavalife makes me look boring and no e-boys are going to want to date me.
and also kids, there are no boxes where i can check 'impeccable taste in music is a MUST'
xxx m.
1) i am NOT an adult (and that's awesome)
2) lavalife stinks!
1) so i go out to my friend kyla's house in the deep, deep south. we're talking end of calgary trail off ellerslie here...DEEP south! anyways, kyla is making chocolate truffles and so she invites me over...YUMMY! so i go over after dinner with my mom and not only is kyla there. also there are laura (who i'll get to later) and lindsay and jacquie. i have known all these girls, save for jacquie, since i moved to edmonton in 1988. that's a long-ass time! so we're chatting and we get on the subject of boyfriends and living and all those things girls talk about. both these girls: lindsay and jacquie own property (condos) cars and have serious, long term relationships. kyla owns a car and a boyfriend and is about to enter the market for some property.
talking to these girls and listening to them talk about furniture i start to wonder if perhaps somewhere i went wrong. if somewhere i made a wrong turn and forgot to do something. like maybe if after high school i'd made the decision to do my poli sci. degree and then go to law school i'd also own and condo and be the next-best-thing to married. maybe...
but then they start asking me about my life. about throwing money away on rent and getting tattooed and going to shows and random hook-ups (not as if there are a lot of them but there are a few...) and as they sat there with judgement in their eyes i realised, somewhere mid quarter life crisis that i am pretty fucking happy with the way things have turned out. the random hook-ups i've had haven't been that random and they've been great. i love where i live and i love my tattoos. i pretty much love what i have in my life...
sure, things aren't perfect. they never are. notice i didn't mention the boyfriend thing, nor am i going to...but i am generally pretty a-ok with the way things are going.
generally...
2) lavalife totally sucks (and this is where laura comes in). in discussion about boyfriends and the like we discovered that laura had been using lavalife to meet people. this is cool. whatever works. we live in the age of the internet...i don't judge. anyways, my adult friends go off on how if they were still 'single at 25' (gasp) that the internet might be a good place to look for love. SINGLE AT 25? what the fuck?
anyways, laura is really INSANE and literally the MOST judgemental person i have ever met (even more than me!) and apparently she's met like 4 or 5 pretty cool boys a la lavalife.
i got home around midnight and out of curiosity i decided to check out lavalife. now, in order to check it out you have to sign up. i was curious so i did...
LAVALIFE MAKES ME LOOK BORING!!
when you fill out your profile you have to fill out one of those interest surveys. a lot of people have a lot of interests on lavalife. i have three: reading, music, cultural events. that's dumb! i like more than three things and cultural events is very vague.
the thing is there are a million interest catagories but they are all related to sports or outdoor things. i am not much for sports. and not only are there tonnes of sports options there is survey where you get to choose whether you watch or participate...there are A LOT of cultural events that i both watch or participate...there aren't boxes for those choices.
so, lavalife makes me look boring and no e-boys are going to want to date me.
and also kids, there are no boxes where i can check 'impeccable taste in music is a MUST'
xxx m.
Friday, October 21, 2005
the tattoo saga pt.10
alrighty kids.
FINALLY got the outlining done on my sleeve last night. afterwards i felt like i'd been fucked so hard i couldn't remember my name. that definately isn't a bad thing.
i went in there at 4pm. johnny was ready for me about 4:30pm and at 5 we were onto the tattooing. it hurt, i'm not gonna lie. by the end it hurt A LOT! we did all the stuff that was on the stencil and then johnny needed to freehand draw a bunch of stuff. by the time we got to that part it was almost 8 and i was exhausted. the last line when on at around 8:10pm. INSANE! i was soooo tired.
so it looks fan-fucking-tastic! i am so happy and can't wait to see it all filled in with colour and the lines all perfect!
here are some photos for your enjoyment! please feel free to tell me how awesome it looks! :D
all the design and tattooing work was done by johnny at urge2 studios in edmonton, alberta.
photos are MINE! don't steal 'em!
xxx michelle.
FINALLY got the outlining done on my sleeve last night. afterwards i felt like i'd been fucked so hard i couldn't remember my name. that definately isn't a bad thing.
i went in there at 4pm. johnny was ready for me about 4:30pm and at 5 we were onto the tattooing. it hurt, i'm not gonna lie. by the end it hurt A LOT! we did all the stuff that was on the stencil and then johnny needed to freehand draw a bunch of stuff. by the time we got to that part it was almost 8 and i was exhausted. the last line when on at around 8:10pm. INSANE! i was soooo tired.
so it looks fan-fucking-tastic! i am so happy and can't wait to see it all filled in with colour and the lines all perfect!
here are some photos for your enjoyment! please feel free to tell me how awesome it looks! :D
all the design and tattooing work was done by johnny at urge2 studios in edmonton, alberta.
photos are MINE! don't steal 'em!
xxx michelle.
the cure for a hangover...
so i had this whole huge post here and when i came back and re-read it made me sound sort of weird...
so i edited it but still felt compelled to tell y'all i edited it!
ha ha!
so i edited it but still felt compelled to tell y'all i edited it!
ha ha!
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