HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG!

wow, my blog is one year old today! me and fifteen feet of pure white snow, a match made in heaven...who'd have thought i'd manage to stay interested for all this time...

so happy birthday blog, you're rad.

and shit kids, not only is it blog's birthday but it's the end of the year and holy smokes the need to be self-reflective has never been so strong.

michelle's year in review:

a lot of stuff happened to me this year so i'm just gonna pop it out in point form as i think of stuff...

-i spent my first full year without any sort of official educational pursuits at all since i was 5. no workshops, no classes, nothing. no wonder my brain feels all stupid and mushy. 2006 is sure to be the remedy for that.

-i met someone who i gave everything to way to quickly and in the process i had my heart completely dessimated. i also got over it and have made a full recovery, i hope.

-i had some of the BEST (and worst) sex of my life. in the process i learned that i LOVE what my body is capable of feeling. i also learned how easy it can be to turn off those parts of your heart and your brain that may be trying to tell you that what you're doing isn't the best thing for you. i don't know how i feel about that...going along with that i learned a fair amount about what does/doesn't turn me on and began exploring some fetishes...a little.

-i made some awesome friends this year and to all of you i am so glad to have you in my life. there were moments that i am not sure i would have been able to deal with were it not for you. you know who you are and i thank you for it.

-on a related note: some decisions were also made in regards to older friends. some friendships were put aside because they were self-destructive or whatever and others were strengthened. people far away or people i never thought i'd be so close with have become insanely important to me. thanks girls, you never fail to make me smile.

-i got a little star tattoo but have also started a major tattooing process that's making me feel things about my body and my relation to it that i've never experience in my life. i love that there's something about my body, my skin, that i WANT to show off, that i want people to touch...i've never experienced that before, ever!

-i also got a couple of fun piercings too.

-this was also a year full of new music. i have heard so much and bought so many albums and it's all been so amazing. i am learning to interact with music and listen to it in a way i've never done before. i'm also learning that there is stuff i NEVER thought i'd like in a million years. actually, 90% of my favourite albums of the year are things that last year i would have scoffed at. music has officially become my primary means of inspiration! (not that it wasn't before but now it's pretty much constant)

-i had a little taste of what it's like to make a record and wow! i have so much more respect for musicians of all kinds, especially the ones without serious financial backing. thanks for keeping me in the loop with that one jeff, it was amazing to see and i have a ridiculous amount of respect for what you were able to do.

-i moved out! (finally!) and came to a pretty good place in my relationship with both my parents. i am thankful to have them in my life...

-and (HOLY FUCK) natasha and i started mischief and mayhem, put on a show and were it not for our charitable donations, would have made money...

so yeah, and i am sure there were so many more things that happened...12 months is a long time and i spent this year making an effort to be more open to letting things happen and just having fun...

so in the spirit of the end i have made a few, not resolutions, but decisions for the upcoming year:

- i am going to try and be more forgiving. to me that encompasses being FAR less judgemental and far more willing to be open to accepting the idea that perhaps my first impressions of people may not be always be right.

-i am going to make a better attempt to take care of my shyness a little. i want to be more fearless and put myself into social situations that may be slightly awkward but have the potential for fun! i just need to be OPEN to all the awesome that people can share.

-i want to learn more about dance hall and electronic music; a lot more.

-kissing. more kissing.

-and i want to make sure that the people i care about are always close to me, if not in distance but in my heart. i want to make sure that my friends know how i feel about them...friends, i love ya!

xo and HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING NEW YEAR!

michelle.