thinking with my vagina.

apparently i think, almost constantly, with my vagina.

apparently.

apparently i also have some serious issues with men.

or so i'm told.

i know what you're thinking, 'michelle, you seem so well adjusted and so unconcerned with sex. i doubt you ever think with your vagina. what kind of evidence is there to support these claims?'

ha ha. ok maybe i do think with my vagina from time to time. sometimes she knows better than me what i need. sometimes. other times she gets me in trouble. yeah, it's fun at the time. either way we have a pretty good relationship and we're pretty balanced in who's doing the thinking.

but my issues with men. whatever. this isn't the time or the place to get into that discussion but i thought i would share the supposed evidence that proves these MEGA-issues that i seem to have:

1) last year i went to see ...and you'll know us by the trail of dead and the (international) noise conspiracy and i HATED ...trail of dead. i thought they were an overly-masculine cock rock band that spent the majority of the evening cumming all over the audience's face. it just read as an example of a guitar being an extension of the phallus. to me it was boring and if i wanted to watch someone jerk off i'd have stayed home and watched free porn.

2) i hate HATE HATE 'waking life' i think it's a wank on existentialism that was designed to impress fellow film students with and to get undergrads into bed. it's an overly-masculine take on existentialism that fails miserably and ends up being a pretentious pile of nothing.

just because it's a discussion of existential crisis doesn't make it awesome. i know, existentialism is uber-trendy but pick up a book on existentialism or watch something that wasn't made to make the film makers look cool and then we'll chat. OR sit down and actually attempt to have a discussion with me about it. i am willing even to watch it again. i love having my mind changed by a piece of work i'd previously written off...

and finally 3) my cd collection. according mr. pop-psychology 101 my cd collection further proves my issues with men. apparently kelly clarkson, anti-flag, bright eyes, matthew dear and a lot of tom waits underscore some deep deep seeded issues. apparently an eclectic collection spanning a number of years and genres is infallible proof of the fact that i hate men.

so obviously i challenge this. i ask for more concrete proof. i ask for him to tell me me which album proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that either a) my vagina made that purchase; or b) that i was afraid of masculinity. (my vagina has purchased some of them but not the one's you'd think...)

the thing was so silly about all of it is that trail of dead and waking life were the only two artistic creations we'd ever discussed and that the one time we tried to talk about his art he dismissed what i had to say as shallow and immature. 'you'll grow out of that opinion michelle' is a childish response to criticism-childish at best.

and god forbid i even attempted to get into a discussion that traditional ideas of 'masculine' and 'feminine' are social constructs and are severely outdated-i'm sure he'd dismiss that idea as being elitist and call me a pseudo-intellectual and then talk about myspace or something. god!

and the thing of it all is that i CHOSE not to get into it with him. he's obviously the one with the issues about his own masculinity. i think for him admitting that my opinion is my own and therefore valid would negate his personal belief that he's somehow enlightened beyond traditional views of masculinity-when he really isn't. to disagree with me in discussion form would be to admit an enjoyment of that which i view to be hyper-masculine. if he were we could actually have a discussion about this and he would dismiss me as being shallow or insecure in my relationships with men or with my sexuality. apparently nothing is scarier challenge to an alpha-male than a girl with an opinion about gender and gender relationships as they relate to art.

quick boys, run away!

m.