a death.

edvard munch said "illness, insanity and death are the black angels that kept watch over my cradle and accompanied me all my life"

perhaps this is true for all of us. at some points anyway.

i have almost lost my dad a couple of times. and i can't imagine what that must feel like. and to lose a child. there can't be words for that.

my aunt is faced with that right now.

early sunday morning my cousin frank was killed in a car accident.

he and four of his friends were 'sprint racing'. they took turns seeing who could drive the fastest.
one of them was drunk. when it was his turn to drive he spun out of control, hit some trees, flipped the car and sent it flying into the river.

at some point along the way frank broke his neck and was killed. as was one other boy in the car. the driver was injured and two others walked away without a scratch.

my aunt and uncle live in germany. my dad left for the funeral this morning. the hardest thing about all this is seeing my dad cry.

and he cries not only from grief but from fear. i see him looking at me and worrying that i could be next. that my stupid choices or someone elses could mean that i won't be around.

that fear breaks my heart.

i wish no one ever had to go through what my aunt and uncle are going through. what frank's brother is going through. what anyone who has lost like that has gone through. it makes me wish the world was simpler and people didn't die before they should.

mostly it makes me sad.

heartfelt love to you all, to nick especially for this hasn't been an good weekend for you either.
michelle.