what i am i doing?
i looked at some stupid shit on indecline, closed all the windows on my computer, pushed in the keyboard tray, put my elbows on my hot pink tights and cried...
i never shed tears for him and now i never want to stop. i am not sure i will ever be able to.
i thought it was over. i thought this new and real crush was something to be happy about, a sign of something positive...shit, i even dressed nicely for rehearsal tonight...(he wasn't there)
i was standing in the backstage hallway of our rehearsal space and i felt him there, and the nostalgia over took my body and i wanted nothing more than to run to the airport get on a plane to the ocean and confess my sins to him...
...god, i feel like a small pathetic child sad because her favourite movie star just got married and now she'll have to find someone else...
i don't know what i am doing and i don't know how to feel this sad and survive. i know it doesn't compare to grief or to even to the loss of someone who loved you back but my heart is breaking and to me that's real...
i am an insane person and i need to go to bed.
xo alice
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1 comment:
Don't cry for me, Argentina.
The truth is, I never left you...all through my wild days, my mad existence...I kept my promise, don't keep your distance.
There's a little Andrew Lloyd to keep you going. Evita went through some tough shit, and she survived.
No wait, she didn't. She totally died. Oops. Don't worry, you're not running the country as the leader of the Rainbow Tour. You'll be just FINE. uhhhh INK MACHINE
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