i have been to hell and danced with the devil

and damn is he a good dancer. he tricks you into thinking you're in heaven, that all is right with the world and things are as they should be.

have you met the devil? you may have and not even known it was him...or her. the devil's real gender was of no consequence as we danced together this evening...

but, curiosity killed the cat, as they say so i will tell you all about it:

today, the devil takes the female form. she is young, fresh faced and in love...she is a bride to be and she is planning her wedding...

*cue sinister music and the sound of babies crying, children screaming and puppies dying*

whether or not i ever want to get married is still up for debate...but i will tell you this much, dear friends (and you can hold me to this...) there will be NO wedding. there will be NO money spent on favours, there will be NO countless hours spent wondering if the chosen purple and green ribbons are the appropriate purple and green ribbons for the event...there will be NO debating over guest lists, double-sided tape or mardi-gras themed showers, there will be NO forced tattoo or peircing stoppages, NO dresses, NO mother-in-laws or mothers, and NO making my VERY pasty friends go tanning...

and the list could go on...

don't get me wrong. i love sheila and i want her to be happy and have the wedding of her dreams but it's four months away and i am already feeling the maid of honour stress fest kicking into full swing...and i haven't even seen my "too light for jet black hair and pasty skin" dress yet...

oh, and i can only imagine the day when she realises you WILL be able to see my tattoo and tries to make me cover it...i am conceeding enough by putting a stud in my nose...

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

god love her (and i do...i REALLY do) but i am going to put a stick in my eye...

oh...and did i mention they are beginning to reach an upward cost of $32-33K

yep!

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

alice, screaming, etc...