purple mesh panties that only i know about
endless highways
endless conversations
needless tears
needless kisses
the sound of chord changes on an acoustic guitar
manicures
nasal spray
lotion
cameras
the sound of a tattoo needle
dermal biospy punches
painted toe nails
blue suede shoes
always being surprised
always surprising
saying goodbye
hugs that last one second too long
hugs that hug from your toes to your head
free porn
4:25am-5:25am
black nail polish
getting email from the NDP party
anarchist zines
magazines
internet friends
irony
brian the hairdresser
free movies
hash browns
arguments
eating breakfast at restaurants
vanilla ice cream
vanilla soy milk
when the music's been so loud my ears ring for two days
confusion
scrap paper
photographs
south eastern australian shiraz
cuddling
soft hands
rough hands
being proven wrong
academic research
non-fiction
dada
theatre
poetry
new paper
thank you cards
drug stores
blowjobs
records
sand
the way the smell of the ocean stays with you long after you've left it
chicago
boys
paris
airports
reunions
those first awkward moments with someone new
feeling out of place
making out
the mla handbook
rubber ducks with devil horns or mohawks
boys with tattoos
boys without tattoos
boys who tattoo
and so many more things...
michelle.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
and the talking leads to touching
i think there is a moment before something ends that you know it's going to end, not at that exact moment but it is going to end.
looking back on it that moment existed but i never wanted to see it. i wanted to believe so badly that just loving someone was enough. enough to make up for your insecurities and theirs; enough to make up for distance and time never being on your side; enough to make up for nothing being enough. enough to make up for my simply not being enough.
i never wanted that moment to happen. i never wanted this moment. this moment when the wounds are still fresh and the light still stings your eyes; when the prospect of going to bed or getting out of bed is scarier than you'd ever thought possible and when the tears keep coming long past when you expected them to run out.
it's not as if someone died michelle. sadness like this is so selfish...well, i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i'm blogging about this but it's 2am and there is no one i can call and i can't sit alone here...i just can't. it's too dark and too small and too fucking quiet.
so instead i'll make you all read this and he might read it too and if he does he'll know i loved him and he'll be embarrassed that i posted that but i don't care because i did love him. i do love him and i thought he did too. i am the kind of person that falls hard and falls quickly and will announce it from somewhere. i am not afraid of being embarrassed. why bother being embarrassed...am i suppose to apologize for loving someone? jesus.
this is all so silly and it makes me want to write bad poetry and add to the bottle of wine i drank BEFORE the shit and the fan met and fell wildly in love. which would you rather be? the shit or the fan? i'd rather be the shit...i'd rather be the one that ends up splattered all over the place.
this isn't how i pictured this all coming to a head.
michelle.
looking back on it that moment existed but i never wanted to see it. i wanted to believe so badly that just loving someone was enough. enough to make up for your insecurities and theirs; enough to make up for distance and time never being on your side; enough to make up for nothing being enough. enough to make up for my simply not being enough.
i never wanted that moment to happen. i never wanted this moment. this moment when the wounds are still fresh and the light still stings your eyes; when the prospect of going to bed or getting out of bed is scarier than you'd ever thought possible and when the tears keep coming long past when you expected them to run out.
it's not as if someone died michelle. sadness like this is so selfish...well, i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i'm blogging about this but it's 2am and there is no one i can call and i can't sit alone here...i just can't. it's too dark and too small and too fucking quiet.
so instead i'll make you all read this and he might read it too and if he does he'll know i loved him and he'll be embarrassed that i posted that but i don't care because i did love him. i do love him and i thought he did too. i am the kind of person that falls hard and falls quickly and will announce it from somewhere. i am not afraid of being embarrassed. why bother being embarrassed...am i suppose to apologize for loving someone? jesus.
this is all so silly and it makes me want to write bad poetry and add to the bottle of wine i drank BEFORE the shit and the fan met and fell wildly in love. which would you rather be? the shit or the fan? i'd rather be the shit...i'd rather be the one that ends up splattered all over the place.
this isn't how i pictured this all coming to a head.
michelle.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
odd
i don't feel compelled to post about anything.
i could talk about the evils of bridal showers or the wonder that is ms. sharon jones and her fantastic dap kings but...
i don't want to.
i wonder why that is.
odd.
michelle.
i could talk about the evils of bridal showers or the wonder that is ms. sharon jones and her fantastic dap kings but...
i don't want to.
i wonder why that is.
odd.
michelle.
Monday, June 27, 2005
mystery man
my space bar isn't working properly however, that is not what i wanted to talk about...
this morning on my way to work i was behind this guy driving a silver mitsubishi of some sort or other and i was struck by him because he was very mysterious...
occasionally, and whilst still behind him, a black gloved hand would emerge from the window and flick some ash from a white filtered cigarette. he smoked slowly because it took a long time for him to finally toss the butt from the window (which i don't agree with but that's another story).
after i saw him toss the cigarette i had to know more about the man with the gloved hand so i sped up enough to get beside him at a light.
i glanced into his slightly tinted window and there he was: mystery incarnate. black hair, black goatee, black sunglasses, black turtle neck, slightly tinted windows and black driving gloves.
i imagine him to be a spy in a secret organization designed to protect those of us confined to suburbia. he knows of the CSIS conspiracy to keep us docile in our condos with slurpees and a new post office nearby. he knows of the secret landscaping guild forced to design our neighbourhoods all alike so no matter where we go we feel like we're at home and long to be there...he knows it all because it's his job to make sure we don't.
he looks at me. i feel his eyes meet through our sunglasses. he knows i know. he draws a black plated hand gun from the black shoulder holster and fires a bullet into the side of my car and speeds away.
thank god i have plastic door panels.
michelle.
this morning on my way to work i was behind this guy driving a silver mitsubishi of some sort or other and i was struck by him because he was very mysterious...
occasionally, and whilst still behind him, a black gloved hand would emerge from the window and flick some ash from a white filtered cigarette. he smoked slowly because it took a long time for him to finally toss the butt from the window (which i don't agree with but that's another story).
after i saw him toss the cigarette i had to know more about the man with the gloved hand so i sped up enough to get beside him at a light.
i glanced into his slightly tinted window and there he was: mystery incarnate. black hair, black goatee, black sunglasses, black turtle neck, slightly tinted windows and black driving gloves.
i imagine him to be a spy in a secret organization designed to protect those of us confined to suburbia. he knows of the CSIS conspiracy to keep us docile in our condos with slurpees and a new post office nearby. he knows of the secret landscaping guild forced to design our neighbourhoods all alike so no matter where we go we feel like we're at home and long to be there...he knows it all because it's his job to make sure we don't.
he looks at me. i feel his eyes meet through our sunglasses. he knows i know. he draws a black plated hand gun from the black shoulder holster and fires a bullet into the side of my car and speeds away.
thank god i have plastic door panels.
michelle.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
darling...
dearest unreliable fucks,
i have no time for your shit. please don't agree to do something for me if you have no intention of following through...
get off your fucking, 'i'm oh so busy and important' high horse because you're not that fucking fabulous or special. and guess what...i'm fucking busy too!
christ! who the fuck do you think you are? i am not someone who is going to allow you to push me around. don't underestimate the potential i have to make it getting another job difficult for you. does that sound concieted? well, either way, i can make it so no one will want to work with you again...it really isn't that hard and you know what they say, one good turn...
we work in a world built almost soley on reputation and it takes very little to fuck it up for yourself and congratulations...you're well on your way!
motherfucker...look what you're doing to me...i rarely swear this much in a single letter and i hate sounding like a self-important, 'fuck me over and i'll fuck you over' kind of bitch but c'mon people...i don't ask much just a level of professionalism and committment. i guess maybe that is asking a lot.
fuck,
michelle.
i have no time for your shit. please don't agree to do something for me if you have no intention of following through...
get off your fucking, 'i'm oh so busy and important' high horse because you're not that fucking fabulous or special. and guess what...i'm fucking busy too!
christ! who the fuck do you think you are? i am not someone who is going to allow you to push me around. don't underestimate the potential i have to make it getting another job difficult for you. does that sound concieted? well, either way, i can make it so no one will want to work with you again...it really isn't that hard and you know what they say, one good turn...
we work in a world built almost soley on reputation and it takes very little to fuck it up for yourself and congratulations...you're well on your way!
motherfucker...look what you're doing to me...i rarely swear this much in a single letter and i hate sounding like a self-important, 'fuck me over and i'll fuck you over' kind of bitch but c'mon people...i don't ask much just a level of professionalism and committment. i guess maybe that is asking a lot.
fuck,
michelle.
Friday, June 24, 2005
more written shit
i'm bored right now. REALLY bored and so i decided i'd post the second installment in michelle's PSA's for theatre series...enjoy or mock at will:
Theatre: A Public Service Announcement #2
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to this evening’s presentation of an offensive avant-garde production unlike anything your eyes have seen or your ears have heard. Not to worry Ladies and Gentlemen, your eyes will see nothing and your ears will hear nothing like this this evening. We will save all that for “adult programming” on late-night television or in the back room of the video store. We have taken several precautions to be sure that there is no material in this piece that will offend, after all, we must never alienate our audience and their needs must become before all else. This play contains several scenes of graphic nudity and sex. While we are sure the playwright had good intentions with these scenes we feel that they will be just as provocative with the actors wearing black body suits and miming the action behind a “shark tooth scrim”. After all, the imagination is a very powerful tool. The playwright also used profanity in his work. To combat this problem we have chosen to change these words to something more colloquial and well known among our wholesome theatre going audiences. We have chosen words like: shucks, fudge and poo, for example. We feel that our quality actors well conveyed intentions will more than make up for the lack of profanity. For those of you still unsure as the meaning of these new and exciting linguistic choices we offer, for a marginal fee, a small sealed program containing a glossary of terms. In considering the production of something “fringe” for this season we were always aware of the needs of our subscribers and took no offense to the hundreds of playwrights who decided not to take up our generous offer after our exciting revision proposals. There was some concern of integrity but we realise that there is a time and a place for that notion and the theatre isn’t it. Here at the largest theatre company in your city we have ensured that the avant-garde remains accessible and inoffensive by choosing playwrights and productions as concerned with financial gain as we are. We support you, the audience, and all the monetary success that comes with your returned support. Please do not forget to leave a tax deductible donation of $1000 or more at the door on your way out. Coffee and tea will be provided in appreciation. Thank you and enjoy the show.
Theatre: A Public Service Announcement #2
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to this evening’s presentation of an offensive avant-garde production unlike anything your eyes have seen or your ears have heard. Not to worry Ladies and Gentlemen, your eyes will see nothing and your ears will hear nothing like this this evening. We will save all that for “adult programming” on late-night television or in the back room of the video store. We have taken several precautions to be sure that there is no material in this piece that will offend, after all, we must never alienate our audience and their needs must become before all else. This play contains several scenes of graphic nudity and sex. While we are sure the playwright had good intentions with these scenes we feel that they will be just as provocative with the actors wearing black body suits and miming the action behind a “shark tooth scrim”. After all, the imagination is a very powerful tool. The playwright also used profanity in his work. To combat this problem we have chosen to change these words to something more colloquial and well known among our wholesome theatre going audiences. We have chosen words like: shucks, fudge and poo, for example. We feel that our quality actors well conveyed intentions will more than make up for the lack of profanity. For those of you still unsure as the meaning of these new and exciting linguistic choices we offer, for a marginal fee, a small sealed program containing a glossary of terms. In considering the production of something “fringe” for this season we were always aware of the needs of our subscribers and took no offense to the hundreds of playwrights who decided not to take up our generous offer after our exciting revision proposals. There was some concern of integrity but we realise that there is a time and a place for that notion and the theatre isn’t it. Here at the largest theatre company in your city we have ensured that the avant-garde remains accessible and inoffensive by choosing playwrights and productions as concerned with financial gain as we are. We support you, the audience, and all the monetary success that comes with your returned support. Please do not forget to leave a tax deductible donation of $1000 or more at the door on your way out. Coffee and tea will be provided in appreciation. Thank you and enjoy the show.
no, i actually LOVE food
well edmonton has a lot to be thanked for these days...aside from oddly optimistic perspective which i am sure is due in no small part to the (mostly) glorious sun-shiney weather.
i think the rest of my oddly optimistic mood stems from an abundance of good food and stellar company whilst consuming such fantastic food.
i have now chosen to outline my spectacular eating experiences over the past week (there are only 4...don't worry) just because they've been making me feel so fucking good.
tuesday, june 21, 2005
location: red robin
time: 8:00pm
what i ate: gooey cheese sticks. (there were not so good but the sun was out and the company was good)
what i drank: sleeman's honey brown. i didn't want a honey brown i wanted a cool pint of either grasshopper or trad or a bottle of stella but i guess i can't expect much from red robin.
company: natasha. she made up for the less than stellar food and lack of choice as far as beer went but...
notes: as i mentioned i wasn't superstoked about our venue of choice. i wanted to go drink beers on the blackdog's rooftop patio but it was full by 7pm (or earlier probably) as were all the other patios on whyte and jasper. meh...the good thing was, aside from the company, we got to play witness to the very start of a blind date right down to the awkward handshake and random discussions about jobs and friends and past relationships. it was awesome!
thursday, june 23, 2005
location: cafe mosaics
time: 9:30am
what i ate: scrambled eggs, toast and...HASH BROWNS
what i drank: fresh squeezed oj with pulp (*drool*) and water
company: a new friend named eli.
notes: i created a whole post about this yesterday but i just want to reiterate how fucking fantastically wonderful those hash browns are!
thursday, june 23, 2005
locations: high level diner
time: 6:30pm
what i ate: veggie burger with cheese and fries. for dessert i indulged in some wonderful carrot cake!
what i drank: my usual: diet coke with a wedge of lime (how terribly unoriginal of me) and water.
company: sister (rachel), dad and dad's fiancee (sandy)
notes: while the company left a bit to be desired and the constant talk about weddings makes me want to shave my head and move to vancouver i love the high level diner so it was still great!
friday, june 24, 2005
location: roots organic market and cafe
time: 12:45pm
what i ate: tofu tahini rice bowl: grilled marinated tofu, brown rice, oodles of veggies and a delicious tahini sauce.
what i drank: water
company: charles
notes: well, charles bought me lunch because he was 15min late meeting me (score!) and it was good to see him because he's going to calgary for three weeks to play at one of the coolest theatre companies in canada and our lives barely coincide so...also, i LOVE roots...all organic, all fantastic! and these people actually know how to cook tofu which a lot of places do not.
all in all a very fantastic week of food. this weekend promises not to be as stellar. i will spend the weekend in bridal shower bbq hell the lone vegetarian amidst a sea of carnivores ready to be scorned and questioned. so, i don't eat meat? fuck off and get me another fucking ceasar salad (ugh) while your at it!
anyone free for dinner tonight?
xo michelle.
i think the rest of my oddly optimistic mood stems from an abundance of good food and stellar company whilst consuming such fantastic food.
i have now chosen to outline my spectacular eating experiences over the past week (there are only 4...don't worry) just because they've been making me feel so fucking good.
tuesday, june 21, 2005
location: red robin
time: 8:00pm
what i ate: gooey cheese sticks. (there were not so good but the sun was out and the company was good)
what i drank: sleeman's honey brown. i didn't want a honey brown i wanted a cool pint of either grasshopper or trad or a bottle of stella but i guess i can't expect much from red robin.
company: natasha. she made up for the less than stellar food and lack of choice as far as beer went but...
notes: as i mentioned i wasn't superstoked about our venue of choice. i wanted to go drink beers on the blackdog's rooftop patio but it was full by 7pm (or earlier probably) as were all the other patios on whyte and jasper. meh...the good thing was, aside from the company, we got to play witness to the very start of a blind date right down to the awkward handshake and random discussions about jobs and friends and past relationships. it was awesome!
thursday, june 23, 2005
location: cafe mosaics
time: 9:30am
what i ate: scrambled eggs, toast and...HASH BROWNS
what i drank: fresh squeezed oj with pulp (*drool*) and water
company: a new friend named eli.
notes: i created a whole post about this yesterday but i just want to reiterate how fucking fantastically wonderful those hash browns are!
thursday, june 23, 2005
locations: high level diner
time: 6:30pm
what i ate: veggie burger with cheese and fries. for dessert i indulged in some wonderful carrot cake!
what i drank: my usual: diet coke with a wedge of lime (how terribly unoriginal of me) and water.
company: sister (rachel), dad and dad's fiancee (sandy)
notes: while the company left a bit to be desired and the constant talk about weddings makes me want to shave my head and move to vancouver i love the high level diner so it was still great!
friday, june 24, 2005
location: roots organic market and cafe
time: 12:45pm
what i ate: tofu tahini rice bowl: grilled marinated tofu, brown rice, oodles of veggies and a delicious tahini sauce.
what i drank: water
company: charles
notes: well, charles bought me lunch because he was 15min late meeting me (score!) and it was good to see him because he's going to calgary for three weeks to play at one of the coolest theatre companies in canada and our lives barely coincide so...also, i LOVE roots...all organic, all fantastic! and these people actually know how to cook tofu which a lot of places do not.
all in all a very fantastic week of food. this weekend promises not to be as stellar. i will spend the weekend in bridal shower bbq hell the lone vegetarian amidst a sea of carnivores ready to be scorned and questioned. so, i don't eat meat? fuck off and get me another fucking ceasar salad (ugh) while your at it!
anyone free for dinner tonight?
xo michelle.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
hash browns, eggs, toast and friendly strangers...
i don't usually eat breakfast. not because i don't recognize its importance but because to eat it would mean getting up earlier than i care to.
i am suppose to start work at 9:30. if i shower before bed i can get up at 9, leave by 9:10 and arrive at work with a few moments to spare. this way, i appear punctual. the result is that there is no time for morning eating.
i am usually crippled with hunger by 11am.
today i am still full at 1:31pm. wicked!
this morning i went in late for work and ate breakfast.
now, it wasn't a simple case of, 'hmmm...i really feel like eating breakfast this morning so i'll just go into work an hour and a bit late!' no kids, that would be silly. not unlike me, but still silly.
instead i met up with a new friend and a former friendly stranger. a friendly stranger is someone you see all over the place but never speak to, often tied to this is no knowledge of them as people. i have a few friendly strangers: people i saw on campus every day or people i see at shows or plays, etc... we know nothing of each other other than basic facts of interest (we're at the same place) or educational background (we go to the same school). other than that everything you know about that person is pure conjecture and sometimes fantasy, even their names.
well, i have, or had, this one friendly stranger that went beyond the typical friendly stranger relationship. we knew a lot about each other (names, work stuff, hobbies, relationship status, mutual friends, etc...) but we never spoke, EVER. we deliberately ignored each other when in the same place...it got a bit ridiculous.
anyhow, we broke the silence and abandoned the mystery and went for breakfast this morning. it was fun! good conversation and a craving for hash browns satisfied.
and shit, i'm still full!
so let's raise an orange juice toast to destroying friendly stranger relationships in favour of friendly new friends!
salute!
xo michelle.
i am suppose to start work at 9:30. if i shower before bed i can get up at 9, leave by 9:10 and arrive at work with a few moments to spare. this way, i appear punctual. the result is that there is no time for morning eating.
i am usually crippled with hunger by 11am.
today i am still full at 1:31pm. wicked!
this morning i went in late for work and ate breakfast.
now, it wasn't a simple case of, 'hmmm...i really feel like eating breakfast this morning so i'll just go into work an hour and a bit late!' no kids, that would be silly. not unlike me, but still silly.
instead i met up with a new friend and a former friendly stranger. a friendly stranger is someone you see all over the place but never speak to, often tied to this is no knowledge of them as people. i have a few friendly strangers: people i saw on campus every day or people i see at shows or plays, etc... we know nothing of each other other than basic facts of interest (we're at the same place) or educational background (we go to the same school). other than that everything you know about that person is pure conjecture and sometimes fantasy, even their names.
well, i have, or had, this one friendly stranger that went beyond the typical friendly stranger relationship. we knew a lot about each other (names, work stuff, hobbies, relationship status, mutual friends, etc...) but we never spoke, EVER. we deliberately ignored each other when in the same place...it got a bit ridiculous.
anyhow, we broke the silence and abandoned the mystery and went for breakfast this morning. it was fun! good conversation and a craving for hash browns satisfied.
and shit, i'm still full!
so let's raise an orange juice toast to destroying friendly stranger relationships in favour of friendly new friends!
salute!
xo michelle.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
in praise of road construction
or, i should say, in praise of construction that, as a side affect, affects the road...
a lot of people in our fair city of edmonton (deadmonton?) would probably agree with me that the city does little to maintain either itself of its infrastructure that it claims to be so proud of; however, it's summer time and summer time means construction and a feigned concerned for the places we spend our time.
of all of the measures of summertime resoration the one i hate the most is road constuction. i hate when they rip up the freeway and when they spend hours blocking my home by widening the road or whatever...drives me batty!
but i promised praise for road construction right? so, there is a major intersection in edmonton (170th st. and 100th ave for those of you that live here) that has been ripped apart for what feels like a year (in fact, i think it has been a year) and there seems to be no end in sight. well, i'd been super pissed at the city for this little backup for the past year until today. i got stopped there again this afternoon and actually read the sign that says what they're doing.
THEY'RE REDOING THE SEWER LINES!
i love them for that! i don't know about you but i am not so into driving along and having shit suddenly explode forth from the sewer and land all over my car.
you can't get rid of that smell...ever!
so, i love the city of edmonton for making sure that shit can't explode forth all over my car; otherwise, i hate them.
fuck the lrt!
xo michelle.
a lot of people in our fair city of edmonton (deadmonton?) would probably agree with me that the city does little to maintain either itself of its infrastructure that it claims to be so proud of; however, it's summer time and summer time means construction and a feigned concerned for the places we spend our time.
of all of the measures of summertime resoration the one i hate the most is road constuction. i hate when they rip up the freeway and when they spend hours blocking my home by widening the road or whatever...drives me batty!
but i promised praise for road construction right? so, there is a major intersection in edmonton (170th st. and 100th ave for those of you that live here) that has been ripped apart for what feels like a year (in fact, i think it has been a year) and there seems to be no end in sight. well, i'd been super pissed at the city for this little backup for the past year until today. i got stopped there again this afternoon and actually read the sign that says what they're doing.
THEY'RE REDOING THE SEWER LINES!
i love them for that! i don't know about you but i am not so into driving along and having shit suddenly explode forth from the sewer and land all over my car.
you can't get rid of that smell...ever!
so, i love the city of edmonton for making sure that shit can't explode forth all over my car; otherwise, i hate them.
fuck the lrt!
xo michelle.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
i like food
that's right kids! i like to eat food whenever i am hungry...and sometimes when i am not.
well, i was hungry today and so i decided i would eat some lunch time food. i didn't bring any lunch time food with me today (because i NEVER wake up early enough) and so i decided i would have a veggie burger from burger king. not the best choice health or 'personal politics (hee hee) wise but what the fuck right?
so, i order my veggie burger and pull up to the window. i have exact change so i rule and i give it to the lady in exchange for my food and as i pull away she winks at me.
she winked at me?!?? that's hot right? too bad she wasn't!
photo of the day:
later lovers,
xo michelle.
well, i was hungry today and so i decided i would eat some lunch time food. i didn't bring any lunch time food with me today (because i NEVER wake up early enough) and so i decided i would have a veggie burger from burger king. not the best choice health or 'personal politics (hee hee) wise but what the fuck right?
so, i order my veggie burger and pull up to the window. i have exact change so i rule and i give it to the lady in exchange for my food and as i pull away she winks at me.
she winked at me?!?? that's hot right? too bad she wasn't!
photo of the day:
later lovers,
xo michelle.
Monday, June 20, 2005
best rock show souvenir of all time!
hey there lovers,
so saturday has come and gone, i realise that, but this past saturday was something of a musical spectacular spectacular...
about a month ago i had this GENIUS idea to get my friend meghan tickets to xiu xiu for her birthday. it was meant to be a surprise; ie: i didn't tell her what band it was because she probably wouldn't have been into it-anyhow, the closer we got to june 18th the more exicted i got...see kids, xiu xiu is one of my favourite bands.
so, saturday afternoon at about 5:30 roles around, doors are at 7 so i'm started to get a bit more pumped. meg and i agreed that i would pick her up at 6 and we'd head downtown for a coffee and a catch up and then head over to the hall and rock the fuck out...
5:30pm i get message from meg on msn. she's sick as shit and not going to be able to make it.
FUCK right...and i am not a big fan of going to shows by myself so i frantically start phoning everyone in my cell phone book...i am flipping out. NO ONE is home because it's short notice and my friends are all way cooler than me. finally, i get ahold of kevin...he's down and my spirit is lifted!
yeah for kevin!!
so, i meet kevin, the doors open in this fantastic little hall that reminded me of the hall i saw the slackers play at in vancouver. at around 9 or so junior bloomsday took the stage and rocked out. he's so awesome. as division and wellesley he's one of my favourite local singer/songwriters and he doesn't disappoint as junior bloomsday either!
after him, holy shit, i had one of the most physically intense musical experiences of my life. a live noise artist in a small venue is an aural assault not to be missed. this one little dude from LA called 'this song is a mess and so am i' played one of the loudest sets i've ever seen...it was AWESOME and afterwards i got his cd and THE RADDEST SHOW SOUVENIR OF ALL TIME!
i can't say what it is because it'll ruin the surprise for aaron but email me if you want to know and i'll tell you...it's soooo fucking RAD!
finally, and with much anticipation, xiu xiu took the stage and it was AMAZING! A-MAZ-ING...it was quiet but intense and intimate but huge...FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!
here are some photos but first go to xiu xiu online and listen to them! you'll die because they're so good!
xo michelle.
so saturday has come and gone, i realise that, but this past saturday was something of a musical spectacular spectacular...
about a month ago i had this GENIUS idea to get my friend meghan tickets to xiu xiu for her birthday. it was meant to be a surprise; ie: i didn't tell her what band it was because she probably wouldn't have been into it-anyhow, the closer we got to june 18th the more exicted i got...see kids, xiu xiu is one of my favourite bands.
so, saturday afternoon at about 5:30 roles around, doors are at 7 so i'm started to get a bit more pumped. meg and i agreed that i would pick her up at 6 and we'd head downtown for a coffee and a catch up and then head over to the hall and rock the fuck out...
5:30pm i get message from meg on msn. she's sick as shit and not going to be able to make it.
FUCK right...and i am not a big fan of going to shows by myself so i frantically start phoning everyone in my cell phone book...i am flipping out. NO ONE is home because it's short notice and my friends are all way cooler than me. finally, i get ahold of kevin...he's down and my spirit is lifted!
yeah for kevin!!
so, i meet kevin, the doors open in this fantastic little hall that reminded me of the hall i saw the slackers play at in vancouver. at around 9 or so junior bloomsday took the stage and rocked out. he's so awesome. as division and wellesley he's one of my favourite local singer/songwriters and he doesn't disappoint as junior bloomsday either!
after him, holy shit, i had one of the most physically intense musical experiences of my life. a live noise artist in a small venue is an aural assault not to be missed. this one little dude from LA called 'this song is a mess and so am i' played one of the loudest sets i've ever seen...it was AWESOME and afterwards i got his cd and THE RADDEST SHOW SOUVENIR OF ALL TIME!
i can't say what it is because it'll ruin the surprise for aaron but email me if you want to know and i'll tell you...it's soooo fucking RAD!
finally, and with much anticipation, xiu xiu took the stage and it was AMAZING! A-MAZ-ING...it was quiet but intense and intimate but huge...FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!
here are some photos but first go to xiu xiu online and listen to them! you'll die because they're so good!
xo michelle.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
stuck in traffic
photo of the day is below.
i know i should post something of substance but i'm feeling a little emotionally ravaged right now so all i've got is this.
i took this photo one day when i was stuck sitting on gateway blvd.
anyone who can guess what kind of car i drive will win a prize.
seriously, i promise a prize!
wow, that's BIG!
meh, have a good one kids.
xo michelle.
i know i should post something of substance but i'm feeling a little emotionally ravaged right now so all i've got is this.
i took this photo one day when i was stuck sitting on gateway blvd.
anyone who can guess what kind of car i drive will win a prize.
seriously, i promise a prize!
wow, that's BIG!
meh, have a good one kids.
xo michelle.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
assault group
is the name of stereolab song.
i have nothing of interest to say tonight so here's a photo.
the guy sans mohawk is my friend james. i met him in washington d.c. and he suggest i get something pierced while shopping one day in georgetown.
the guy with mohawk remains my greatest sexual fantasy. his name is brian. he is an old d.c. punk kid from back in the discord records, d.c. scene hayday! he is also the guy that pierced my nose. that piercing remains today the BEST non-sexual-sexual experience of my life. look how fucking HOT he is!
xo michelle, a little...um...aroused, actually.
i have nothing of interest to say tonight so here's a photo.
the guy sans mohawk is my friend james. i met him in washington d.c. and he suggest i get something pierced while shopping one day in georgetown.
the guy with mohawk remains my greatest sexual fantasy. his name is brian. he is an old d.c. punk kid from back in the discord records, d.c. scene hayday! he is also the guy that pierced my nose. that piercing remains today the BEST non-sexual-sexual experience of my life. look how fucking HOT he is!
xo michelle, a little...um...aroused, actually.
Friday, June 17, 2005
and are you thinking of me when you fuck her?
it's june of 1995 and i am a young girl, 13, trying to find out who i am and my place in the world. i am discovering this new and exciting world of punk rock. listening to rancid and d.o.a keep me going. then one morning awoken from mosh pit dreams and khaki nightmares, i hear alanis morissette broken hearted and wailing on the softrock station in my mom's bedroom...i am smitten. alanis and tim armstrong were equal in my heart.
but every relationship comes to an end and my love affair with alanis was not meant to stand the test of time. actually, it wasn't meant to stand the 'cool' test along with all my little punk icons and ripped badass jeans.
:(
fast forward 1o years later. it's 2005 and i am still young, 23 and still trying to find out who i am and my place in the world. i am still discovering the exciting world of punk rock (and TONNES of other stuff). still listening to rancid and d.o.a to keep me going and this morning i was once again awoken from mosh pit dreams and khaki nightmates by alanis morissette. but, this time it's a bit different because as i've aged these past ten years i have realised that i am NOT cool, despite many years attempting to be, and this time around alanis is coming from my stereo!
that's right kids, mediocre angsty chick rock is back with an acoustic ten year anniversary edition and i have been listening to it non-stop for the past day!
so here we are, ten years later, still the same girl that i was at 13 ( i even swear as much) and i love it. it's a comfortable place to be.
xx michelle.
p.s. i have decided to reinstate a new feature...photo of the day! (not because i take good photos but just because i like the arty dimension they add to my blog...ha ha ha...nah, that isn't it either. i just feel like it...who knows how long it will last.
PHOTO OF THE DAY!
but every relationship comes to an end and my love affair with alanis was not meant to stand the test of time. actually, it wasn't meant to stand the 'cool' test along with all my little punk icons and ripped badass jeans.
:(
fast forward 1o years later. it's 2005 and i am still young, 23 and still trying to find out who i am and my place in the world. i am still discovering the exciting world of punk rock (and TONNES of other stuff). still listening to rancid and d.o.a to keep me going and this morning i was once again awoken from mosh pit dreams and khaki nightmates by alanis morissette. but, this time it's a bit different because as i've aged these past ten years i have realised that i am NOT cool, despite many years attempting to be, and this time around alanis is coming from my stereo!
that's right kids, mediocre angsty chick rock is back with an acoustic ten year anniversary edition and i have been listening to it non-stop for the past day!
so here we are, ten years later, still the same girl that i was at 13 ( i even swear as much) and i love it. it's a comfortable place to be.
xx michelle.
p.s. i have decided to reinstate a new feature...photo of the day! (not because i take good photos but just because i like the arty dimension they add to my blog...ha ha ha...nah, that isn't it either. i just feel like it...who knows how long it will last.
PHOTO OF THE DAY!
bumrape
8:31am.
stopped for a train on my way into south edmonton common where i was dropping my sister at work:
michelle: (as the train passes and the barriers begin to lift) i've always wanted to ride the rails...*wishful sigh*
rachel: you'd get bum raped.
michelle: what?!
rachel: yeah, the homeless guys...
michelle: and why wouldn't they just rape me the normal way? vaginally?
rachel: because a lot of them are gay.
michelle: what?
rachel: a lot of them are gay and want to have bum sex.
michelle: rachel, homosexuality is not about a desire for anal sex it's about the desire for someone of the same biological sex as you...and hun, there are a lot of straight guys who really like anal sex too...
rachel: yeah, i have no idea what i'm talking about.
michelle: obviously!
my sister's funny sometimes...especially when she doesn't think before she speaks.
thank fucking christ i can sleep in tomorrow.
michelle.
stopped for a train on my way into south edmonton common where i was dropping my sister at work:
michelle: (as the train passes and the barriers begin to lift) i've always wanted to ride the rails...*wishful sigh*
rachel: you'd get bum raped.
michelle: what?!
rachel: yeah, the homeless guys...
michelle: and why wouldn't they just rape me the normal way? vaginally?
rachel: because a lot of them are gay.
michelle: what?
rachel: a lot of them are gay and want to have bum sex.
michelle: rachel, homosexuality is not about a desire for anal sex it's about the desire for someone of the same biological sex as you...and hun, there are a lot of straight guys who really like anal sex too...
rachel: yeah, i have no idea what i'm talking about.
michelle: obviously!
my sister's funny sometimes...especially when she doesn't think before she speaks.
thank fucking christ i can sleep in tomorrow.
michelle.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
if leftist artists can write plays than so can biggoted mormons, right?
NB: this post was inspired in part by the events of this past weekend and in response to jeff's most recent post about rage!
i'm not so much full of rage and i am intensly annoyed by the pseudo-academic postering that i've was forced to be made privy to over the past weekend.
a little backstory and some notes:
note: i went to university. i have a BA (hon) degree in drama.
note: i am a faaaaaaaaaaarrr left leaning socialist feminist with anarchist tendencies
note: i am staunchly pro-choice, in EVERY situation for EVERY woman!
backstory:
last monday steve pirot (the neXtfest festival director) asked me direct a reading of a new play called 'ghosts of war' by this kid from lethbridge. i agreed. afterall, all i had to do was sit 5 people down for a single one hour rehearsal, answer questions and then a few days later stick a music stand in front of them and let them go to town proving their literacy...easy as pie!
there was a catch: when i agreed to take this on i hadn't read the play. all steve had told me was that it was 'small town angsty' and in dire need of an edit. the edit then fell to me because there isn't a way in hell steve was going to do it.
so i sat down and read this play and it made me sick. the first time through it was full of homophobic slurs and misinformation about abortion and the issues surrounding it and not only that but the main idea that i took from the script was: 'if you, as a woman, have an abortion you will go crazy and die in a mental institution by 30...after wish you will burn in hell!'
now, i don't believe in god and therefore i don't i don't believe in hell but either way...FUUUUUUUUUUCK off kid!
now, i couldn't edit the play for content because a) i didn't know the playwright and b) that isn't the point...it's not my play.
anyhow, so i get this play, i cut it from 51 to 37 pages and also cut all but one of the homophobic slurs then i cast it.
nigel, jason, tara, lana and jeff (not this jeff) agree to be in the reading...now, i mention jeff last because he is the point of this post...my rage at pseudo-intellectual postering is directed squarely at him on this topic.
so, it's already been established that this play was politically offensive to me and all those things that i mentioned in the notes section above, well they also apply to jeff but somehow he feels that they apply to him a little more than they perhaps apply to others. he's just one of those academics who runs around telling everyone they're in grad school and really smart. argh!
anyhow, the point is he is goes on a tirade threatening not to show up for the reading and just going on and on and on...i get it! i found the play offensive too. i hated it! i'd never work on it in any context ever again but the point of this all, and the thing that it makes me wonder about is the following:
who the fuck are we, as leftist arty artists, to say what people can and cannot produce under the guise of art. if we're allowed to produced art that works in direct opposition to the right wing power structures than why isn't this kid allowed to write a play from an expressly right wing christian perspective. it's not violent or abusive to anyone (it wasn't), it wasn't written to degrade any one particular group of people, etc...it would NEVER be produced in any theatre in edmonton but if he wants to get this play produced by his church then go hard kid...examine your spiritual questions and work your shit out, just don't ask me to be a part of it.
now, how far does my belief in the freedom of artistic expression. do i condone white power music or nazi propaganda art? hells no! but this play doesn't qualify as that. it's religious propanganda that's been pounded into this kid's head since birth and he's just dealing with it on paper; it's not hate literature and THAT's where i draw my lines.
i just don't think that we as artists have the right to slam something and write it off completely because we disagree with it POLITICALLY.
instead, i'll slam it because in the end THE PLAY WAS FUCKING CRAP and that's the worst part of it all!
discuss.
xo michelle.
i'm not so much full of rage and i am intensly annoyed by the pseudo-academic postering that i've was forced to be made privy to over the past weekend.
a little backstory and some notes:
note: i went to university. i have a BA (hon) degree in drama.
note: i am a faaaaaaaaaaarrr left leaning socialist feminist with anarchist tendencies
note: i am staunchly pro-choice, in EVERY situation for EVERY woman!
backstory:
last monday steve pirot (the neXtfest festival director) asked me direct a reading of a new play called 'ghosts of war' by this kid from lethbridge. i agreed. afterall, all i had to do was sit 5 people down for a single one hour rehearsal, answer questions and then a few days later stick a music stand in front of them and let them go to town proving their literacy...easy as pie!
there was a catch: when i agreed to take this on i hadn't read the play. all steve had told me was that it was 'small town angsty' and in dire need of an edit. the edit then fell to me because there isn't a way in hell steve was going to do it.
so i sat down and read this play and it made me sick. the first time through it was full of homophobic slurs and misinformation about abortion and the issues surrounding it and not only that but the main idea that i took from the script was: 'if you, as a woman, have an abortion you will go crazy and die in a mental institution by 30...after wish you will burn in hell!'
now, i don't believe in god and therefore i don't i don't believe in hell but either way...FUUUUUUUUUUCK off kid!
now, i couldn't edit the play for content because a) i didn't know the playwright and b) that isn't the point...it's not my play.
anyhow, so i get this play, i cut it from 51 to 37 pages and also cut all but one of the homophobic slurs then i cast it.
nigel, jason, tara, lana and jeff (not this jeff) agree to be in the reading...now, i mention jeff last because he is the point of this post...my rage at pseudo-intellectual postering is directed squarely at him on this topic.
so, it's already been established that this play was politically offensive to me and all those things that i mentioned in the notes section above, well they also apply to jeff but somehow he feels that they apply to him a little more than they perhaps apply to others. he's just one of those academics who runs around telling everyone they're in grad school and really smart. argh!
anyhow, the point is he is goes on a tirade threatening not to show up for the reading and just going on and on and on...i get it! i found the play offensive too. i hated it! i'd never work on it in any context ever again but the point of this all, and the thing that it makes me wonder about is the following:
who the fuck are we, as leftist arty artists, to say what people can and cannot produce under the guise of art. if we're allowed to produced art that works in direct opposition to the right wing power structures than why isn't this kid allowed to write a play from an expressly right wing christian perspective. it's not violent or abusive to anyone (it wasn't), it wasn't written to degrade any one particular group of people, etc...it would NEVER be produced in any theatre in edmonton but if he wants to get this play produced by his church then go hard kid...examine your spiritual questions and work your shit out, just don't ask me to be a part of it.
now, how far does my belief in the freedom of artistic expression. do i condone white power music or nazi propaganda art? hells no! but this play doesn't qualify as that. it's religious propanganda that's been pounded into this kid's head since birth and he's just dealing with it on paper; it's not hate literature and THAT's where i draw my lines.
i just don't think that we as artists have the right to slam something and write it off completely because we disagree with it POLITICALLY.
instead, i'll slam it because in the end THE PLAY WAS FUCKING CRAP and that's the worst part of it all!
discuss.
xo michelle.
"i felt like i was in a different world" remarked clarice as we exited the club
something fantastic keeps happening to me. i keep going to shows and each one keeps getting better than the last.
blonde redhead...sweet christ! i can't imagine it getting any better than this!
yesturday was a weird day: i had to be at computer school all day and i died inside a little. when i got home i was exhausted. i took of my clothes, sat around in my bathrode for 4 or 5 hours and then was suddenly struck by this burst of second-wind. something inside me screamed,
"MICHELLE, GET OFF YOUR ASS! GET PUMPED! PUT ON YOUR HOT NEW SHOES AND GO SEE BLONDE FUCKING REDHEAD!!"
so, i went. i picked up clarice at the junk cellar and oogled the sexy blackbyrd employee just leaving as i was arriving (yeah, he knows who he is...) and waited.
after a couple of stops we arrived safe and sound at new city ready to dance our asses off to the musical stylings of the floor. we missed the floor...in fact, there was no evidence that the floor had even played. the audience was sedate and bored.
acid 302 was playing when we arrived. three dudes with laptops and absolutely NO interaction with the audience. now, i am all for the laptops, in fact i love laptop nerd music, and it wasn't the laptops that made them boring...it was the SAME FUCKING THING over and over and over again...it was leaning away from the glitchy laptop music and heading into soul-less techno catagory as far as i'm concerned...
anyhow, no time wasted and the epitomy of new york by way of the entire rest of the world cool, a la blonde redhead, start their set.
no talking, just rocking!
seriously, they uttered the phrase 'thank you for coming to see us play' all of three times in over an hour...cool ass shit kids.
i can't even describe how it was...how it felt. it was music to take over your body and soul. i closed my eyes and it all washed over me and my body took it all in and bathed in their sonic goodness...
cheesy, i know, but they were amazing! A-MAZ-ING! when it was all over i felt this odd sense of bouncy, reflective, euphoria...SMASHING!
yeah, wow...holy shit!
i am so inarticulate about how amazing it was. i could surmise what a rock journalist would say:
" sonically brilliant, blonde redhead aurally cleanses your soul with the perfect combination of experimental postrock, new york artrock and some fantastic post-punk with a decidedly pop overtone thrown in for good measure..."
or something like that.
it was rad! here are two photos. they're not good. there were too many tall people standing in front of me last night!
toodles poodles,
xo michelle.
blonde redhead...sweet christ! i can't imagine it getting any better than this!
yesturday was a weird day: i had to be at computer school all day and i died inside a little. when i got home i was exhausted. i took of my clothes, sat around in my bathrode for 4 or 5 hours and then was suddenly struck by this burst of second-wind. something inside me screamed,
"MICHELLE, GET OFF YOUR ASS! GET PUMPED! PUT ON YOUR HOT NEW SHOES AND GO SEE BLONDE FUCKING REDHEAD!!"
so, i went. i picked up clarice at the junk cellar and oogled the sexy blackbyrd employee just leaving as i was arriving (yeah, he knows who he is...) and waited.
after a couple of stops we arrived safe and sound at new city ready to dance our asses off to the musical stylings of the floor. we missed the floor...in fact, there was no evidence that the floor had even played. the audience was sedate and bored.
acid 302 was playing when we arrived. three dudes with laptops and absolutely NO interaction with the audience. now, i am all for the laptops, in fact i love laptop nerd music, and it wasn't the laptops that made them boring...it was the SAME FUCKING THING over and over and over again...it was leaning away from the glitchy laptop music and heading into soul-less techno catagory as far as i'm concerned...
anyhow, no time wasted and the epitomy of new york by way of the entire rest of the world cool, a la blonde redhead, start their set.
no talking, just rocking!
seriously, they uttered the phrase 'thank you for coming to see us play' all of three times in over an hour...cool ass shit kids.
i can't even describe how it was...how it felt. it was music to take over your body and soul. i closed my eyes and it all washed over me and my body took it all in and bathed in their sonic goodness...
cheesy, i know, but they were amazing! A-MAZ-ING! when it was all over i felt this odd sense of bouncy, reflective, euphoria...SMASHING!
yeah, wow...holy shit!
i am so inarticulate about how amazing it was. i could surmise what a rock journalist would say:
" sonically brilliant, blonde redhead aurally cleanses your soul with the perfect combination of experimental postrock, new york artrock and some fantastic post-punk with a decidedly pop overtone thrown in for good measure..."
or something like that.
it was rad! here are two photos. they're not good. there were too many tall people standing in front of me last night!
toodles poodles,
xo michelle.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
covert posting
so, ok, dear readers.
i have discovered a new feature about the blogging thing...I CAN EMAIL THIS SHIT IN!
god...who knew?
anyhow, this is a covert post. as i write this i am sitting in computer school at alberta college, just off jasper avenue at 102nd street, learning how to use corel draw...
computer school and corel draw can suck my left tit!
seriously, and the people here aren't even friendly. my teacher, judi, is patronizing most of the time, talks to me like i'm stupid (because when it comes to computers i am), and doesn't like it when i make sarcastic comments. as punishment? i am blogging (via email) in her class and leaving my cell phone for the afternoon (not that anyone will call but if they do...)
ANYHOW, on an unrelated note i am have recently, as of last night, become obsessed with charles bukowski...last night i flipped open to a random page in the collection that i have, stretched out on my bed and let the words overtake...suddenly i felt languid, like a hot mid-summer afternoon on lake ontario...i was basking in his brilliantly narcissistic glow and loving every incandescent second of it.
i was awoken at 2:30 sweating in my bed (the duvet has officially become to hot) and was struck by the temptation to write a poem...i decided against my temptation knowing that i suck at writing poems, but i feel back asleep knowing that charlie was burrowed deep inside me.
*swoon*
michelle.
i have discovered a new feature about the blogging thing...I CAN EMAIL THIS SHIT IN!
god...who knew?
anyhow, this is a covert post. as i write this i am sitting in computer school at alberta college, just off jasper avenue at 102nd street, learning how to use corel draw...
computer school and corel draw can suck my left tit!
seriously, and the people here aren't even friendly. my teacher, judi, is patronizing most of the time, talks to me like i'm stupid (because when it comes to computers i am), and doesn't like it when i make sarcastic comments. as punishment? i am blogging (via email) in her class and leaving my cell phone for the afternoon (not that anyone will call but if they do...)
ANYHOW, on an unrelated note i am have recently, as of last night, become obsessed with charles bukowski...last night i flipped open to a random page in the collection that i have, stretched out on my bed and let the words overtake...suddenly i felt languid, like a hot mid-summer afternoon on lake ontario...i was basking in his brilliantly narcissistic glow and loving every incandescent second of it.
i was awoken at 2:30 sweating in my bed (the duvet has officially become to hot) and was struck by the temptation to write a poem...i decided against my temptation knowing that i suck at writing poems, but i feel back asleep knowing that charlie was burrowed deep inside me.
*swoon*
michelle.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
for shits and giggles
just for funzies:
Which Trainspotting Character Are You?
Which Trainspotting Character Are You?
i miss louise and she's in montreal.
i miss aaron and he's in ottawa.
motherfucking eastern canada!
i miss nigel and he's in vancouver.
i miss mel and she's in vancouver too.
motherfucking westcoast!
i kid kids, i kid. i wish you luck and love on your travels to the far reaches of...canada. i wish i was there with you all.
much love,
rents.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
to all those in possession of a penis
dear biologically superior human beings,
i am so sorry that i am at the will of your masculine energy, can you ever forgive me? if you can't please simply fuck me into submission. that's probably easier for us both and that way we aren't forced to communicate.
at your will,
michelle n. kennedy
HA HA HA! alright boys here's the deal:
1) just because i flirt with you doesn't mean i am going to fuck you.
2) just because i tease a little and we talk dirty doesn't mean i'm a sure thing.
3) just because you have tattoos and/or piercings and/or play guitar doesn't mean that i am begging for it.
4) JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A COCK DOES NOT MEAN I WANT IT INSIDE ME.
don't me mad, it's probably something you did but something that can't be undone and please, please, please don't try to guilt trip me after i don't fall all over myself to fuck you...surprise surprise, that actually makes me want you LESS!
ugh, boys are such stupid fucks sometimes!
michelle, grrr...
i am so sorry that i am at the will of your masculine energy, can you ever forgive me? if you can't please simply fuck me into submission. that's probably easier for us both and that way we aren't forced to communicate.
at your will,
michelle n. kennedy
HA HA HA! alright boys here's the deal:
1) just because i flirt with you doesn't mean i am going to fuck you.
2) just because i tease a little and we talk dirty doesn't mean i'm a sure thing.
3) just because you have tattoos and/or piercings and/or play guitar doesn't mean that i am begging for it.
4) JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A COCK DOES NOT MEAN I WANT IT INSIDE ME.
don't me mad, it's probably something you did but something that can't be undone and please, please, please don't try to guilt trip me after i don't fall all over myself to fuck you...surprise surprise, that actually makes me want you LESS!
ugh, boys are such stupid fucks sometimes!
michelle, grrr...
Thursday, June 09, 2005
it's all very vaginal lately
yesterday was a metal health day! i needed it. my heart felt all broken and smushy and sucky!
i hadn't really intended on even getting out of bed much less venturing out into the sunshiney day on the edmonton streets.
well, my sister:
(rachel)who is fantastic, happened to have the day off. she woke me up made me get up and go out. so i went out. we went out.
we had an afternoon of consumption therapy. first we went for sushi. i ate some spicy tuna and salmon maki as well as some miso soup. i love miso soup. it feels like a little japanese lady is wrapping me up in a warm blanket and making me feel all warm and good inside. the best part of the sushi is that my sister, in an act of pity for my ickiness, bought me lunch! yeah for sadness, it'll get you all kinds of raw fish goodness.
after sushi we went shopping along the illustious (and often scary) whyte avenue. for those of you not from edmonton, whyte ave is where the cool kids hang out. sometimes i go there too.
so, on our little trek around the land of cool we made a stop at my favourite place to shop: blackbyrd myoosik! it makes me soooo happy. i went in there to buy a cd for my friend's birthday (stephen malkmus) but came out with a cache of goodies for yours truly. i am now in the giddy posession of some more xiu xiu, patrick wolf, and some les savy fav. good goddamn am i ever a hipster! it's hard to go into blackbyrd without spending a shitload of money. those kids could sell a hooker in a vagina store*. plus the guy there gave me 10%off...and expressed approval at the choices i was making as far as my musical entertainment goes...ah sweet validation!
after dropping some cash at the record store i hit the bookstore and the shoe store. got the cutest shoes ever. kitten-heels-pointy-toe-minimal-toe-clevage-girly goodness!! more money spent and then spontaneity kicked in.
now, for those of you who don't know me very well i am a bit of a masochist (emotionally and physically) and must admit a serious addiction to the vagina exploding capabilities of tattooing and piercing...now, one can't really get a tattoo spontaneously, and i wouldn't because well it's permanent...so, in a fit of desire and pain i decide that i need some pain so my sis and i hit strange city body modification experience and i decide to get my conch pierced by a very sexy boy:
the thing about the whole conch piercing by said gentlemen (ruven) is that he uses a biopsy punch to pierce cartiledge with. essentially it's a hole punch and something is actually removed. the result?
i like it! it hurts to sleep on (obviously) but it looks good so i can deal with it for a week or so.
after the piercing, shopping adventure i went home slept, masturbated...the usual and then met up with nigel and tara and we (plus kirsten and georgina) went to sugarbowl for a glass of wine and some food. afterwards nigel and i went back with tara and hung out at her place with her and her roomate garrett for a while.
nigel is the raddest kid ever, for real. he always make me smile and feel better. shit, he even danced for me and my new shoes on the street!
michelle, consumer whore.
*a friend of mine just said this to me over the phone. so credit where credit is due-thanks jeff g.
i hadn't really intended on even getting out of bed much less venturing out into the sunshiney day on the edmonton streets.
well, my sister:
(rachel)who is fantastic, happened to have the day off. she woke me up made me get up and go out. so i went out. we went out.
we had an afternoon of consumption therapy. first we went for sushi. i ate some spicy tuna and salmon maki as well as some miso soup. i love miso soup. it feels like a little japanese lady is wrapping me up in a warm blanket and making me feel all warm and good inside. the best part of the sushi is that my sister, in an act of pity for my ickiness, bought me lunch! yeah for sadness, it'll get you all kinds of raw fish goodness.
after sushi we went shopping along the illustious (and often scary) whyte avenue. for those of you not from edmonton, whyte ave is where the cool kids hang out. sometimes i go there too.
so, on our little trek around the land of cool we made a stop at my favourite place to shop: blackbyrd myoosik! it makes me soooo happy. i went in there to buy a cd for my friend's birthday (stephen malkmus) but came out with a cache of goodies for yours truly. i am now in the giddy posession of some more xiu xiu, patrick wolf, and some les savy fav. good goddamn am i ever a hipster! it's hard to go into blackbyrd without spending a shitload of money. those kids could sell a hooker in a vagina store*. plus the guy there gave me 10%off...and expressed approval at the choices i was making as far as my musical entertainment goes...ah sweet validation!
after dropping some cash at the record store i hit the bookstore and the shoe store. got the cutest shoes ever. kitten-heels-pointy-toe-minimal-toe-clevage-girly goodness!! more money spent and then spontaneity kicked in.
now, for those of you who don't know me very well i am a bit of a masochist (emotionally and physically) and must admit a serious addiction to the vagina exploding capabilities of tattooing and piercing...now, one can't really get a tattoo spontaneously, and i wouldn't because well it's permanent...so, in a fit of desire and pain i decide that i need some pain so my sis and i hit strange city body modification experience and i decide to get my conch pierced by a very sexy boy:
the thing about the whole conch piercing by said gentlemen (ruven) is that he uses a biopsy punch to pierce cartiledge with. essentially it's a hole punch and something is actually removed. the result?
i like it! it hurts to sleep on (obviously) but it looks good so i can deal with it for a week or so.
after the piercing, shopping adventure i went home slept, masturbated...the usual and then met up with nigel and tara and we (plus kirsten and georgina) went to sugarbowl for a glass of wine and some food. afterwards nigel and i went back with tara and hung out at her place with her and her roomate garrett for a while.
nigel is the raddest kid ever, for real. he always make me smile and feel better. shit, he even danced for me and my new shoes on the street!
michelle, consumer whore.
*a friend of mine just said this to me over the phone. so credit where credit is due-thanks jeff g.
he skull-fucked me with his tongue.
ok. so this is my new thing. public honesty and shitty cry-baby writing that has nothing to do with skull fucking...
i have just decided that i am just going to write something sometimes; even if it doesn't make any sense or it's whiney or whatever...i am just going to practice telling the truth and not editing. stream of consciousness...and poor spelling and all that jazz for whomever cares to read it. comment at will, deride at will...i welcome your honesty in equal measure.
sometimes i look at the adds i get from yahoo personals...just for fun. sometimes i even am tempted to 'break the ice for free' and see what happens but i don't i never do. i am shy at first, or so says my profile, but warm up quickly...perhaps it's the sidekick in me or the fact that i am better one-on-one.
i was having trouble focussing earlier. perhaps it was the pain in my ear from the biopsy punch or perhaps it was the pain in my stomach from the goat cheese, ice cream and wine, perhaps it was the pain in my heart from it...well...breaking. or perhaps it was just that i have heard it all before...or more importantly said it all before.
maybe, and this is just an idea that i'm having, maybe i should drink some more, maybe that way i'd meet more people. actually, i think i should just wear girly shoes more often like i was tonight. perhaps there is something attractive about the structure of them. nigel says i strut. i think boys just may not like a girl in sneakers. too simple or too something else.
why is this something that consumes me? will boys like...who gives a fuck really? i am not that kind of girl to be honest. i have never really cared what 'boys' have thought of me because most of the time i nothing but an afterthought in comparison to my hot friends.
ACK...ok, i need to get off that train of thought. i am starting to feel like one of 'those girls'...y'know the type...THOSE girls. i am not those girls.
i think it's just something that comes with the territory...the territory that i am in right now. it's cold here, even though it's almost summer.
fuck!
off!
just fuck off michelle. sadness is so self-involved. go for run, get off your fat ass. do some fucking work and stop waiting for something that feels so beyond the point of possibility.
jesus michelle, you can say it all you want can't you. just talk and talk and talk and talk and tell yourself to get over it and stop talking about and stop sounding like a whiney, baby girl...like one of THOSE girls...
i shouldn't share these things. fuck that. that's the point of this whole excercise. i am too much of a liar. too polished. i edit too much. it doesn't make what i have to say interesting it just makes it all appropriately veiled and vague and something is only slightly reflective of who you are. try for once in your fucking life to be honest and maybe, just maybe it'll get you somewhere other than a land fueled by half-drunk exhausted rantings.
i crave cigarettes now. i smoke too much. i don't drink enough and...
EMO HEARTS UNITE!
it's all coming to an abrupt end...
NOW!
michelle.
i have just decided that i am just going to write something sometimes; even if it doesn't make any sense or it's whiney or whatever...i am just going to practice telling the truth and not editing. stream of consciousness...and poor spelling and all that jazz for whomever cares to read it. comment at will, deride at will...i welcome your honesty in equal measure.
sometimes i look at the adds i get from yahoo personals...just for fun. sometimes i even am tempted to 'break the ice for free' and see what happens but i don't i never do. i am shy at first, or so says my profile, but warm up quickly...perhaps it's the sidekick in me or the fact that i am better one-on-one.
i was having trouble focussing earlier. perhaps it was the pain in my ear from the biopsy punch or perhaps it was the pain in my stomach from the goat cheese, ice cream and wine, perhaps it was the pain in my heart from it...well...breaking. or perhaps it was just that i have heard it all before...or more importantly said it all before.
maybe, and this is just an idea that i'm having, maybe i should drink some more, maybe that way i'd meet more people. actually, i think i should just wear girly shoes more often like i was tonight. perhaps there is something attractive about the structure of them. nigel says i strut. i think boys just may not like a girl in sneakers. too simple or too something else.
why is this something that consumes me? will boys like...who gives a fuck really? i am not that kind of girl to be honest. i have never really cared what 'boys' have thought of me because most of the time i nothing but an afterthought in comparison to my hot friends.
ACK...ok, i need to get off that train of thought. i am starting to feel like one of 'those girls'...y'know the type...THOSE girls. i am not those girls.
i think it's just something that comes with the territory...the territory that i am in right now. it's cold here, even though it's almost summer.
fuck!
off!
just fuck off michelle. sadness is so self-involved. go for run, get off your fat ass. do some fucking work and stop waiting for something that feels so beyond the point of possibility.
jesus michelle, you can say it all you want can't you. just talk and talk and talk and talk and tell yourself to get over it and stop talking about and stop sounding like a whiney, baby girl...like one of THOSE girls...
i shouldn't share these things. fuck that. that's the point of this whole excercise. i am too much of a liar. too polished. i edit too much. it doesn't make what i have to say interesting it just makes it all appropriately veiled and vague and something is only slightly reflective of who you are. try for once in your fucking life to be honest and maybe, just maybe it'll get you somewhere other than a land fueled by half-drunk exhausted rantings.
i crave cigarettes now. i smoke too much. i don't drink enough and...
EMO HEARTS UNITE!
it's all coming to an abrupt end...
NOW!
michelle.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
what the shit kids? what the shit?
ok, call me a romantic, call me silly...call me (and god forbid it were true)...EMO but if this isn't love than i don't what is...
wow!
wow!
stream of conjunction
and improper spelling at 3:22am leads to nothing more than some shifty-eyed man in the window wondering what time of night it is and what time you have to get up in the morning. sometimes he speaks to you, other times you can just feel him breathing all over your legs as you sleep. you don't mind though, there is something comforting about a man behind you blowing on your legs as you attempt for one more futile night to attain another futile sleep.
sleeping at this point has become utterly useless to me. i can't get rested and it's too hard to sleep peacefully when your dreams are littered with tetris and those goddamn little stacking blocks. you strategize all in your head all night, waiting for that set of green or blue boxes that will fill that last tiny empty space. and then i begin to wonder if perhaps tetris isn't there to fill all those tiny little spaces that keep you awake and thinking about tetris. and then i realise that my life is really motherfucking pathetic if all i can think of that's possibly keeping me awake is tetris.
i wonder if you out there would like to play tetris with me sometime, perhaps relieve some of the tedium and boredom i fear that i am about to enter into. perhaps afterwards, after we play for a while, we'll look across the scrabble board at each other and we'll fall madly in love. our word of the day will be circumcision. you scored 5000 points for that one. or if our word of the day, our word for life, is yellow and you only scored 40 points that will ok too.
goddamn i am ever cheesy! seriously, imagine, love over scrabble. it must be odd for those little things living inside my brain to exist in there with all that cheese and romantic bullshit filling up my head. that kind of thing can't possibly exist, or can't possibly for exist for anything more than a fleeting moment can it.
EEPS! it's hideous how silly i have become about love. THE CYNIC CONVERTS HERSELF...for absolutely no reason. it's not as if that much has changed for me. i suppose my outlook on the whole thing was momentarily revamped but that's all changed too...
i am now currently accepting invitations for a casual and conciencious sex partner willing to cut all strings of attachment, fuck me silly, take me for breakfast in the morning and walk away with a smile. i am not a whore, i never have been. i sometimes wish i were a bit more...experienced but i am not the type of girl with experience.
so, 3:22-3:33...i am no less tired and no more sure of anything i was 11 min. ago and of course my little experiment delved into the sexual as per usual...what's with that?
damn all the pot smoking!
i have to say though, that as weird as it is that the weed is keeping me up instead of putting me to sleep, i love these random monday nights where you and a friend plan to sit around with A beer, wallow separately but together in your own shit, shed some tears and generally support each other-when these random monday nights turn into a fun evening spent with a few friends-some old and some new-smoking some weed and talking about whatever springs to mind.
if there were more would they feel so special when they do happen?
michelle.
sleeping at this point has become utterly useless to me. i can't get rested and it's too hard to sleep peacefully when your dreams are littered with tetris and those goddamn little stacking blocks. you strategize all in your head all night, waiting for that set of green or blue boxes that will fill that last tiny empty space. and then i begin to wonder if perhaps tetris isn't there to fill all those tiny little spaces that keep you awake and thinking about tetris. and then i realise that my life is really motherfucking pathetic if all i can think of that's possibly keeping me awake is tetris.
i wonder if you out there would like to play tetris with me sometime, perhaps relieve some of the tedium and boredom i fear that i am about to enter into. perhaps afterwards, after we play for a while, we'll look across the scrabble board at each other and we'll fall madly in love. our word of the day will be circumcision. you scored 5000 points for that one. or if our word of the day, our word for life, is yellow and you only scored 40 points that will ok too.
goddamn i am ever cheesy! seriously, imagine, love over scrabble. it must be odd for those little things living inside my brain to exist in there with all that cheese and romantic bullshit filling up my head. that kind of thing can't possibly exist, or can't possibly for exist for anything more than a fleeting moment can it.
EEPS! it's hideous how silly i have become about love. THE CYNIC CONVERTS HERSELF...for absolutely no reason. it's not as if that much has changed for me. i suppose my outlook on the whole thing was momentarily revamped but that's all changed too...
i am now currently accepting invitations for a casual and conciencious sex partner willing to cut all strings of attachment, fuck me silly, take me for breakfast in the morning and walk away with a smile. i am not a whore, i never have been. i sometimes wish i were a bit more...experienced but i am not the type of girl with experience.
so, 3:22-3:33...i am no less tired and no more sure of anything i was 11 min. ago and of course my little experiment delved into the sexual as per usual...what's with that?
damn all the pot smoking!
i have to say though, that as weird as it is that the weed is keeping me up instead of putting me to sleep, i love these random monday nights where you and a friend plan to sit around with A beer, wallow separately but together in your own shit, shed some tears and generally support each other-when these random monday nights turn into a fun evening spent with a few friends-some old and some new-smoking some weed and talking about whatever springs to mind.
if there were more would they feel so special when they do happen?
michelle.
p.s. i edited the ranting a bit, just broke it up, to make it easier to read...if you choose to do so.
Monday, June 06, 2005
welcome to june 6th
this, dear readers, is post one of five. i can't help it. i've got a lot to say today...not all well said, but abundant none-the-less.
here is a picture from one of the best shows of the year (thus far) just to get us going:
i think this is a pretty rad photo and if you ever get the chance to see either the junior boys or caribou (aka manitoba) GO GO GO! you won't be disappointed!
what an ass-kicking good show! my socks were rocked off!
enjoy the days readings,
michelle.
here is a picture from one of the best shows of the year (thus far) just to get us going:
i think this is a pretty rad photo and if you ever get the chance to see either the junior boys or caribou (aka manitoba) GO GO GO! you won't be disappointed!
what an ass-kicking good show! my socks were rocked off!
enjoy the days readings,
michelle.
point of fact:
alright...so a few days ago i put up a post asking people to weigh in the following issue:
are girls more likely than boys to form attachments to their sexual partners because they are penetrated?
the answered received were all the same: a resounding BULLSHIT!
i have been asked to weigh in and in doing so i would have to agree. i think that all in all this is pretty much bullshit.
i think that the formation of attachments has nothing to do with either gender or sexual preference.
i can only speak to this personally and my last two sexual...um...encounters disprove this theory.
the second most recent 'partner' i had was completely a one-night stand. we fucked and i sent him packing. it was while i was traveling. it was fun, reeeeeeeeeeeally fun, we hung out the next day with some other people...i had no desire ever to see or touch him again. penetration does not equal attraction.
the last person i was with i was attached to long before we ever had sex. i think i was probably attached to him within an hour of meeting him.
so, apologies for the personal and inarticulate nature of this rebuttal but it's all i can muster right now...
xx.
michelle.
are girls more likely than boys to form attachments to their sexual partners because they are penetrated?
the answered received were all the same: a resounding BULLSHIT!
i have been asked to weigh in and in doing so i would have to agree. i think that all in all this is pretty much bullshit.
i think that the formation of attachments has nothing to do with either gender or sexual preference.
i can only speak to this personally and my last two sexual...um...encounters disprove this theory.
the second most recent 'partner' i had was completely a one-night stand. we fucked and i sent him packing. it was while i was traveling. it was fun, reeeeeeeeeeeally fun, we hung out the next day with some other people...i had no desire ever to see or touch him again. penetration does not equal attraction.
the last person i was with i was attached to long before we ever had sex. i think i was probably attached to him within an hour of meeting him.
so, apologies for the personal and inarticulate nature of this rebuttal but it's all i can muster right now...
xx.
michelle.
argh! if only i WERE a pirate
#3.
this is silly isn't it? so many posts in one day...hmm...and i don't feel myself slowing down at all...
anyhow, i have been annoyed by three things of late:
1) dear hipster bitch serving me cake at cafe mosaics,
i was in your establishment at approximately 8:30pm on saturday, june 4th, 2005 with three of my friends. we came in excited to fill the empty spaces in our lives with chocolate cake and good conversation.
i was happy to be there, i was enjoying my cake and conversation and the music. i didn't, however, know what the band was so i asked you. now, i know sweetie, that you're cooler than me. i've seen you at show surrounded by all the people with more expensive jeans and cooler jackets than me but seriously hun, all i did was ask you what the song was...don't be an asshole.
thanks for your time,
michelle kennedy
2) dear edmontonians,
to those of you living and/or driving in the west end go back to drivers training school! i swear that if another one of you motherfuckers makes me slam on my breaks because you've swerved in front of me or think it's clever to cut me off i am going to get out my car at the next lights and kill you. all i am trying to do is listen to music, eat and talk on the phone in safety. are you trying to fucking kill me?
oh, and to all of you who take the freeway with me to and from work please keep the following in mind: the speed limit is 80km/h...40km/h is an unsafe speed at which to drive and i will ride your ass all the way home if i have to!
thanks,
michelle kennedy
3) dear michelle kennedy,
why are you so messy at work? you're asked to do a simple job: pour off this 55gal drum into 4gal pails, put lids on the pails and put them on the shelf. why do you have to spill shit everywhere, get it all over yourself and the floor and make it a dangerous and slippery task to move the pails from the spot in which they're filled to the spot in which they live? huh? why, michelle, why?
ah well, at least i can get a cool photo out of it.
end rant,
michelle.
this is silly isn't it? so many posts in one day...hmm...and i don't feel myself slowing down at all...
anyhow, i have been annoyed by three things of late:
1) dear hipster bitch serving me cake at cafe mosaics,
i was in your establishment at approximately 8:30pm on saturday, june 4th, 2005 with three of my friends. we came in excited to fill the empty spaces in our lives with chocolate cake and good conversation.
i was happy to be there, i was enjoying my cake and conversation and the music. i didn't, however, know what the band was so i asked you. now, i know sweetie, that you're cooler than me. i've seen you at show surrounded by all the people with more expensive jeans and cooler jackets than me but seriously hun, all i did was ask you what the song was...don't be an asshole.
thanks for your time,
michelle kennedy
2) dear edmontonians,
to those of you living and/or driving in the west end go back to drivers training school! i swear that if another one of you motherfuckers makes me slam on my breaks because you've swerved in front of me or think it's clever to cut me off i am going to get out my car at the next lights and kill you. all i am trying to do is listen to music, eat and talk on the phone in safety. are you trying to fucking kill me?
oh, and to all of you who take the freeway with me to and from work please keep the following in mind: the speed limit is 80km/h...40km/h is an unsafe speed at which to drive and i will ride your ass all the way home if i have to!
thanks,
michelle kennedy
3) dear michelle kennedy,
why are you so messy at work? you're asked to do a simple job: pour off this 55gal drum into 4gal pails, put lids on the pails and put them on the shelf. why do you have to spill shit everywhere, get it all over yourself and the floor and make it a dangerous and slippery task to move the pails from the spot in which they're filled to the spot in which they live? huh? why, michelle, why?
ah well, at least i can get a cool photo out of it.
end rant,
michelle.
apparently i am drinking again
it's weird, and i've said this before, but i don't drink that often; mostly because i live out in the fucking boonies and everywhere is a $30 cab ride, but also because i hate being hungover...
and holy christ was i ever hungover yesterday. my head hurts so badly that the simple act of standing up was hard. i hate being hungover.
saturday night was fun though. it was my friend tara's 27th birthday and man did we, did i, ever celebrate.
in the afternoon i was involved in a workshop reading of my friend kevin's play, 'eventually', as a part of neXtfest and then after a quick trip home i was back at the roxy for a little more neXtfest action in the form of 'sololiquies' (five 10min. solo performance pieces); two of which were grande, three of which were...*cue awkward silence*. after the solos amy, georgina, kirsten and myself went to cafe mosaics to drown our sorrows in vegan chocolate cake and cranberry/apple crumble.
next stop: purchase cigarettes and beer and head to tara's to get the show on the road, as they say. on the way to my car, beer in hand, we run into nigel also on his way to tara's, so he joins us for the ride.
ok, so like i said, i rarely drink but saturday night proved to be the exception:
and i make a VERY unattractive drunk! (*gross*). seriously, why i can't i be georgina, all cute and perky with cigarette antenna drunkness? i look like a lecherous old whore somewhere along 97th street hoping you'll stop and throw a loonie at me.
anyways, after too much stella and jager we head to the roost. people ask me sometimes, 'michelle, why the roost? it's a gay bar.' it is a gay bar, that's true. but who gives a shit? it's fun, they play good music and there is booze there. what the hell does it matter if it's a gay bar. and besides all that, tara wanted to go there and it was her fucking birthday.
anyhow, it was ok. not that fun. i was too drunk and too sad and just not in the mood to um...shake my groove thing...yeah. so nigel and i left about 2am. went to keegan's, got some food and went back to his place and passed the fuck out. i slept fairly well actually, especially since i never sleep well in other people's beds when i'm drunk. nigel's bed in comfortable.
so, all in all it was a night i would describe as 'half and half'. half fun and half not fun. drinking is fun. hangovers are not.
and shit kids, i need to stop smoking...i'm not even a smoker but i am smoking too much and my throat and lungs are aware of it.
but now, right now, right this second, all i want to do is grab a bottle of red wine, sit in the tub, get plastered and pass out for the evening.
fuck,
michelle.
and holy christ was i ever hungover yesterday. my head hurts so badly that the simple act of standing up was hard. i hate being hungover.
saturday night was fun though. it was my friend tara's 27th birthday and man did we, did i, ever celebrate.
in the afternoon i was involved in a workshop reading of my friend kevin's play, 'eventually', as a part of neXtfest and then after a quick trip home i was back at the roxy for a little more neXtfest action in the form of 'sololiquies' (five 10min. solo performance pieces); two of which were grande, three of which were...*cue awkward silence*. after the solos amy, georgina, kirsten and myself went to cafe mosaics to drown our sorrows in vegan chocolate cake and cranberry/apple crumble.
next stop: purchase cigarettes and beer and head to tara's to get the show on the road, as they say. on the way to my car, beer in hand, we run into nigel also on his way to tara's, so he joins us for the ride.
ok, so like i said, i rarely drink but saturday night proved to be the exception:
and i make a VERY unattractive drunk! (*gross*). seriously, why i can't i be georgina, all cute and perky with cigarette antenna drunkness? i look like a lecherous old whore somewhere along 97th street hoping you'll stop and throw a loonie at me.
anyways, after too much stella and jager we head to the roost. people ask me sometimes, 'michelle, why the roost? it's a gay bar.' it is a gay bar, that's true. but who gives a shit? it's fun, they play good music and there is booze there. what the hell does it matter if it's a gay bar. and besides all that, tara wanted to go there and it was her fucking birthday.
anyhow, it was ok. not that fun. i was too drunk and too sad and just not in the mood to um...shake my groove thing...yeah. so nigel and i left about 2am. went to keegan's, got some food and went back to his place and passed the fuck out. i slept fairly well actually, especially since i never sleep well in other people's beds when i'm drunk. nigel's bed in comfortable.
so, all in all it was a night i would describe as 'half and half'. half fun and half not fun. drinking is fun. hangovers are not.
and shit kids, i need to stop smoking...i'm not even a smoker but i am smoking too much and my throat and lungs are aware of it.
but now, right now, right this second, all i want to do is grab a bottle of red wine, sit in the tub, get plastered and pass out for the evening.
fuck,
michelle.
so what if this is emo!
i know i promised that i wouldn't create any more whiney emo posts but fuck kids, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
i met someone recently, someone amazing. one of the best people i've ever met, easily.
the shitty thing is i have fallen in love with this person and he's leaving, tomorrow...for a city full of nothing besides politicians and war memorials three provinces away.
i feel so terrible: sad, and sick, and tears are never more than two seconds away...
it's been a long time since i have been this desperate for tomorrow never to arrive.
michelle.
i met someone recently, someone amazing. one of the best people i've ever met, easily.
the shitty thing is i have fallen in love with this person and he's leaving, tomorrow...for a city full of nothing besides politicians and war memorials three provinces away.
i feel so terrible: sad, and sick, and tears are never more than two seconds away...
it's been a long time since i have been this desperate for tomorrow never to arrive.
michelle.
for the spank bank
imagine:
a torrid lesbian affair between the following:
a wretched hangover and a soon-to-be-broken-heart.
i know i'm sure turned on!
xxx michelle.
a torrid lesbian affair between the following:
a wretched hangover and a soon-to-be-broken-heart.
i know i'm sure turned on!
xxx michelle.
Friday, June 03, 2005
beep beep beep beep beep
aside from the randomness of the title i have come to the following decision:
i am going to copy nigel and post some of my 'creative writing' adventure here in blog land for you, dear reader, to eviserate at will.
so, last summer i took a master class in playwriting with sharon pollack who, whilst batshit insane, is one of the most well-respected canadian playwrights. before the class began we had some writing assignments to do and one of them was a 'monologue for one person'...i got a little over-zealous and wrote three "public service annoucements for the theatre" so here is the first of the three.
Theatre: A Public Service Announcement #1
Ladies and Gentlemen, before we begin tonight’s performance of a play you paid to see I would like to make a few announcements. First, this is a non-smoking theatre, so please do not smoke. This play contains no intermission, as no intermission is needed. I assure you your nicotine cravings will not kill you between now and the end, whenever that may be. The play you are about to see deals with mature subject matter and may make you think; our humblest apologies. This play received very good reviews in earlier productions, and aside from its possible social implications, we felt that its previous positive responses may make us a lot of money. On that note, please do not fondle the person sitting next to you, whether you know them our not. It is important that you pay attention in theatre, otherwise how will you ever learn anything. Manual or oral stimulation is distracting the person giving it, the person receiving it and those who feel compelled to watch. I understand that the play you are about to see may be boring but that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the price you pay for being cultured.
Ladies and Gentlemen for your $35 this evening you will receive the following: 3 decent actors paid a criminally low wage and taught at expensive theatre schools across North America to perform for you like trained monkeys; stiff and sore legs from minimal leg room. We alone cannot be thanked for your lack of space. We must also thank the Canada Council for supplying us with our wonderfully inept operating budget, our artistic director for spending money on spa weekends to “restore her creativity” and to the fast food companies and marketers for making you all too fat to fit comfortably in your seats. You will also receive a heavy dose of banal realism fostered by absolutely no sense of aesthetic or social purpose and a sleeping and snoring neighbour who embarrasses you with each breath, whether you know them or not. Students, for your value price of $33 you will receive all of the above plus your own overblown sense of knowledge and critical prowess. We also offer theory readers in the lobby to assist you in demonstrating to all your inferior, non-theatre-going friends, how intelligent and educated you are. The book also offers a special CD for easy memorization of witty-isms for use at the dinner table. Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you again for attending this evening’s cultural event. You are already a better person. Enjoy the show and please feel free to email us any interesting feedback you may think you have. Thank you.
c'est tout!
michelle.
i am going to copy nigel and post some of my 'creative writing' adventure here in blog land for you, dear reader, to eviserate at will.
so, last summer i took a master class in playwriting with sharon pollack who, whilst batshit insane, is one of the most well-respected canadian playwrights. before the class began we had some writing assignments to do and one of them was a 'monologue for one person'...i got a little over-zealous and wrote three "public service annoucements for the theatre" so here is the first of the three.
Theatre: A Public Service Announcement #1
Ladies and Gentlemen, before we begin tonight’s performance of a play you paid to see I would like to make a few announcements. First, this is a non-smoking theatre, so please do not smoke. This play contains no intermission, as no intermission is needed. I assure you your nicotine cravings will not kill you between now and the end, whenever that may be. The play you are about to see deals with mature subject matter and may make you think; our humblest apologies. This play received very good reviews in earlier productions, and aside from its possible social implications, we felt that its previous positive responses may make us a lot of money. On that note, please do not fondle the person sitting next to you, whether you know them our not. It is important that you pay attention in theatre, otherwise how will you ever learn anything. Manual or oral stimulation is distracting the person giving it, the person receiving it and those who feel compelled to watch. I understand that the play you are about to see may be boring but that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the price you pay for being cultured.
Ladies and Gentlemen for your $35 this evening you will receive the following: 3 decent actors paid a criminally low wage and taught at expensive theatre schools across North America to perform for you like trained monkeys; stiff and sore legs from minimal leg room. We alone cannot be thanked for your lack of space. We must also thank the Canada Council for supplying us with our wonderfully inept operating budget, our artistic director for spending money on spa weekends to “restore her creativity” and to the fast food companies and marketers for making you all too fat to fit comfortably in your seats. You will also receive a heavy dose of banal realism fostered by absolutely no sense of aesthetic or social purpose and a sleeping and snoring neighbour who embarrasses you with each breath, whether you know them or not. Students, for your value price of $33 you will receive all of the above plus your own overblown sense of knowledge and critical prowess. We also offer theory readers in the lobby to assist you in demonstrating to all your inferior, non-theatre-going friends, how intelligent and educated you are. The book also offers a special CD for easy memorization of witty-isms for use at the dinner table. Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you again for attending this evening’s cultural event. You are already a better person. Enjoy the show and please feel free to email us any interesting feedback you may think you have. Thank you.
c'est tout!
michelle.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
"tilt your mast forward..."
faithful readers, i have quit my job as office-slave and have taken up a post on a pirate ship!
i know, i know this comes as a shock to many of you because i seem so committed to my current job and wouldn't ever leave it but the call of the ocean was too strong.
here's how it happened: i was just about to fall peacefully asleep last night when my cell phone rang. on the other end was a voice i hadn't heard for ages, it was that of my first love: the sea. he whispered softly in my ear that he'd missed me and longed to feel and caress my skin with his soft waves once again. he said there was a spot for me aboard a vessel that plunged itself deep inside his heart, and he longed to have me there.
very romantic right? i told him i would think about it. i'd moved on, gotten a new job, retired my eye patch and only wore stripped clothes when trying to look 'punk'. so, i ran a bath, dug my eye patch out of my hope chest and submerged myself under the water. as he touched me in all those places left dry by his absence i remembered how much it all meant to me and i called him back immediately! i was rejoining the ranks of pirate, outlaw, miscreant and i couldn't be happier.
i have never forgotten the ocean no matter how many others have come into my life. i couldn't pass up the chance to be with him once again.
i will miss you all.
*tips hat*
adieu.
OK OK OK, i am kidding of course!
i have this job where mostly i just sit around and waste time here or playing tetris or making asinine generalized statements on indecline. all in all it's a good life. i am poor but happy...or something like that.
anyhow, on occasion i actually have to do something that would to a normal person be classified as work. today that occasion came and i was forced to operate a FORKLIFT!!! and believe me this is as dangerous as the caplocks and exclamation points would have you believe. i am known amongst those close to me as 'crash' because i am not so good with a car, imagine me with a forklift.
so, the trucking company arrives and the driver refuses to put the skid on the truck, i guess there is something amusing about an inept girl driving a forklift with 400lbs on the forks. anyhow, i pull it up to the truck, get the skid in the truck without incident and as a start to pull away the skid comes with me and almost falls out of the truck:
michelle: AHHH sweet fucking christ!! what am i suppose to do?!! help!
derek (the driver): tilt your mast forward and lift your forks slightly!
michelle: ok, i get the lift the forks part but what the fuck is the mast?
derek: the tilt-y part
michelle: k.
i tilt the mast forward and lift the forks slightly. crisis averted.
derek: wow, you sure can swear!
michelle: i sure as fuck can!
-fin.
ok, that whole little dramatization didn't happen like that but he did say the thing about the mast and the forks and i did say shit...the truth just isn't as amusing this time.
so, derek left and i came here to the computer to waste the last hour of my day!
adios!
michelle.
i know, i know this comes as a shock to many of you because i seem so committed to my current job and wouldn't ever leave it but the call of the ocean was too strong.
here's how it happened: i was just about to fall peacefully asleep last night when my cell phone rang. on the other end was a voice i hadn't heard for ages, it was that of my first love: the sea. he whispered softly in my ear that he'd missed me and longed to feel and caress my skin with his soft waves once again. he said there was a spot for me aboard a vessel that plunged itself deep inside his heart, and he longed to have me there.
very romantic right? i told him i would think about it. i'd moved on, gotten a new job, retired my eye patch and only wore stripped clothes when trying to look 'punk'. so, i ran a bath, dug my eye patch out of my hope chest and submerged myself under the water. as he touched me in all those places left dry by his absence i remembered how much it all meant to me and i called him back immediately! i was rejoining the ranks of pirate, outlaw, miscreant and i couldn't be happier.
i have never forgotten the ocean no matter how many others have come into my life. i couldn't pass up the chance to be with him once again.
i will miss you all.
*tips hat*
adieu.
OK OK OK, i am kidding of course!
i have this job where mostly i just sit around and waste time here or playing tetris or making asinine generalized statements on indecline. all in all it's a good life. i am poor but happy...or something like that.
anyhow, on occasion i actually have to do something that would to a normal person be classified as work. today that occasion came and i was forced to operate a FORKLIFT!!! and believe me this is as dangerous as the caplocks and exclamation points would have you believe. i am known amongst those close to me as 'crash' because i am not so good with a car, imagine me with a forklift.
so, the trucking company arrives and the driver refuses to put the skid on the truck, i guess there is something amusing about an inept girl driving a forklift with 400lbs on the forks. anyhow, i pull it up to the truck, get the skid in the truck without incident and as a start to pull away the skid comes with me and almost falls out of the truck:
michelle: AHHH sweet fucking christ!! what am i suppose to do?!! help!
derek (the driver): tilt your mast forward and lift your forks slightly!
michelle: ok, i get the lift the forks part but what the fuck is the mast?
derek: the tilt-y part
michelle: k.
i tilt the mast forward and lift the forks slightly. crisis averted.
derek: wow, you sure can swear!
michelle: i sure as fuck can!
-fin.
ok, that whole little dramatization didn't happen like that but he did say the thing about the mast and the forks and i did say shit...the truth just isn't as amusing this time.
so, derek left and i came here to the computer to waste the last hour of my day!
adios!
michelle.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
debate...NOW
and go...
theory: women become attached to their sexual partners quicker than men because women are penetrated. ie: the man becomes a part of them.
weigh in.
michelle.
theory: women become attached to their sexual partners quicker than men because women are penetrated. ie: the man becomes a part of them.
weigh in.
michelle.
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