Saturday, January 21, 2006

babies on parade!

so i'm not always the most...um...responsible gal when it comes to sex. it's my own fault, obviously.

the paranoia that results is baby fear...not std fear but BABY FEAR! think about it: i'm 24, i have ZERO financial stability, ZERO shit laid out for the future...i mean, i know what i want to do but it's not secure. it would be irresponsible of me to have a baby right now and it would be sad for that baby...there are enough poor single mothers out there and i don't need to add to that in any capacity...

so all that being said i'm worrying again. round #2 of pregnancy paranoia.

as a result my errands for the morning resulted in a trip to shoppers drug mart for that little $12 pee stick.

it sucks. SUCKS! there i am, exhausted, when the 15yr old supergoth cashier shows me a moment of solidarity. i can tell. she gets it. there's no judgement, pretense. she gets how much that purchase fucking sucks. how scary it is. how much i DON'T want a kid right now.

the last time this happened i left the drugstore crying. thank god that didn't happen again.

i'm off to pee on a stick. we'll see what happens.

xo m.

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