the not so-wicked soon to be stepmom

so my dad's fiancee is not old enough to be my mother unless she was some kind of teenage slut.
i'm 23, she's 41. well, i suppose 18 wouldn't make her a slut and her oldest daughter is 19...

whatever, she isn't really actually old enough to be my mother and she's a bit stupid. seriously, i am not being snotty she just is a bit of an idiot...

anyhow, not the point. the point is that i think i REALLY pissed her off tonight.

i am NOT a big fan of weddings. to be honest i think they are silly and antiquated and basically irrelevant...especially when you're 41 and 55! but they're getting married and cool y'know; it's their choice.

part of this choice is getting married in mexico sometime in the first week of january. we are all going to mexico...and i mean ALL of us. me, my sister, my dad, her, her kids, her friends and a whole SHWACK of my dad's alcoholic sisters...(there are inordinate amount of alcoholics on my dad's side of the family) oh, and i think my (married) uncle is bringing his 30 year old ex-student girlfriend of 10 years whom his wife seems to be totally cool with...

all this is irrelevant and i am sure there will be posts to come about the insanity of the kennedy side of the family. so where was i heading...??

oh yeah, so we're at joey's tonight: me, my sis (rachel), my dad, his fiancee (sandy) and her daughters (sarah and nicole) and sandy is almost in tears because they can't book a wedding date at the resort until august. she is all worried because there is only one date that they can possibly have it. i got really annoyed by this fucking incessant whining and it's really just the icing on the excessive emailing cake...

so the conversation went down something like this:
(keep in mind i am annoyed and she's on the verge of tears)

s: i just want to make sure that we can actually get married.
m: well, there is no reason to stress about it in MAY when there's nothing that can be done until AUGUST...
s: i suppose, and i guess everyone can just stay for an extra week if it doesn't work out.
m: i can't.
s: WHAT?
m: how much does the extra week cost?
s: $450.
m: yeah...that's a lot. i won't be there that extra week.
s: but we're paying for the first week
m: yeah, and if you weren't i wouldn't be coming. do i look like i have three thousand dollars kicking around (i gesture to the holes in my hoodie)
s: michelle, i think you could be a little more grateful.
m: grateful? (LONG pause) whatever. there still isn't any reason to stress about it now.

GRATEFUL? is she fucking kidding me? GRATEFUL...i should be grateful? why, because you're buying my affection with all inclusive tequila soaked weeks? SHE should be grateful i didn't punch her in the face when i found out my dad was fucking her on the side. she should be grateful i even speak to her. shit, she should be GRATEFUL that i am even willing to look her in the eye.

i am not especially bitter about my parents splitting up. i was 20 when it happened and i know it was the better thing for the both of them...my lack of bitterness does not however mean that i accept adultery as a means to an end or that i enjoy the nights i spent with my mother as her heart broke over and over again...

all that said the last thing i am interested in hearing is the 'other women' tell her that i owe her some sort of gratitude!

that is fucking laughable. imagine if i had laughed in her face at the restaurant! my dad always worries that i am going to make a scene...i should some day just so everyone is clear where we all stand.

after all this went down i went back to my bellini and felt her eyes on me welling up with crocodile tears...god, i have no patience for crazy ass bitches like that!

save the guilt trips for my dad who's just happy to be fucking a younger fitter version of my mom.

here's to mexico!
michelle.