'wow michelle, you've changed'

have i?

people keep telling me that and i am not sure what it means. or what it means to me.

i don't feel like i've changed. i mean, i'm getting older and the older i get the more i figure my own shit out i suppose; getting to know myself better; finding my little place in the world.

so, have i changed? i guess so. i've made new friends, i've discovered passions that i didn't know i had, i'm less afraid...

but it's funny because all these things, all these really positive things don't mean anything in the face of sex. somehow an openess about sex and sexuality is the immediate cue for people.

'michelle, you did what? with who?'

and i answer honestly because there's no reason not to.

'michelle, you'd do what? that? really?'

and i answer honestly because there's no reason not to.

and that's why i've changed. embracing your body and pleasure and all of those things are somehow the things that make people stand up and take notice.

the fact that professionally i am doing what i want, or that i'm more assertive or kinder or more approachable...all of those things mean nothing in the face of who i've chosen to fuck.

have i changed? no more than you i suppose and i've had enough of the word 'change' being associated soley with my sexuality.

the end.